Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It's Gonna Be Me.

Buy one,,,get one free !! That's an ad on tv from a local Men's store.
(now I remember why I don't watch much tv)
You know,,,suits,shirts,socks,ties,
suspenders,hankies...the whole shebang.
Buy one,,,get one free !!
Doesn't that tell you anything ??

It tells me they're charging too much for one item if they can afford to give me one if I buy one.

Which sets my mind to racing to thoughts gone by...What do the people think who run out and buy the new cars when they first hit the dealerships,,,then 4 months later the dealers are selling the same car for thousands less ??

I don't know about you,,but that would be something that'd piss me off. 
Want to know what else pisses me off ???

Government shutdowns,,,I say let's shut it down and send all the crooks home.
Grandpa told me..."If you know a good man who's running for some kind of office...
Don't vote for him,,,ya don't want to screw him up".

Damn it ! I got to stop watching tv.
"Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause.
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with men."

Most heavily decorated soldier

Psych 101

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

 As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... All the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

 Now, put the cold water away.

 Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

 Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.  The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... With enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs.  Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

 Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will  try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask?  Because in their minds... That is the way it has always been!

 This is how Congress operates... And is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED.

The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first
woman, a University of Oklahoma graduate, as President of the United
States, Susan Sooner.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and
says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 30 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as
she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.'

'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and
take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'

'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother

Oh Dad, replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown
custom-made by the best designer in New York.

'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you and
your friends like to eat.'

The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad. The entire affair is
going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, I’ll ensure your
meals are salt free Dad, I really want you to come.'

So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Sooner is
being sworn in as President of the United States.

In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom. Dad noticing the
senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that
woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the
United States.’

The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'

Dad says proudly, 'Her brother played football at OU.'

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