WEEEEEEE !!!

Three nights off !!
(updated before posted)
I was telling my friend, the company had hired enough guys to fill the shifts

and I didn't have to work overtime now.
(and in case you don't know, I'd been working 6 nights a week for 6 months,,,
most of the weeks)

That's about as far as I got when my phone started vibrating. My boss trying to call me.

 Due to the weather,,,or maybe he just really didn't want to talk to me, the call didn't come thru.

So I sent him a text and he sent one back asking if I could work......

*Heavy Sigh* and so I'm back to working whenever I can....As much as I can until we fill the slot again. This process takes about 3 months. With background checks, physical,drug test and that's before being hired. Then the training.*Another Heavy Sigh*

But it's okay, I really do like my job.

 

Kind of like Julian,,,,I'm running a little behind,,,okay,,I'm a lot behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative

to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.

 

It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue. 

What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive.

The males would then be castrated and let loose again.

 

This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U.S. Forest Service.

All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally an old fellow in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said;

"Son, I don't think you understand our problem here . . .. 

These coyotes ain't  screwin' our sheep . . . They're eatin' 'em!"

The meeting never really got back to order..…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a
 need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

If you qualify for Senior Discounts
 this is the code for you.

 ATD: At The Doctor's

 BFF: Best Friend Farted

 BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

 BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

 CBM: Covered By Medicare

 CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

 DWI: Driving While Incontinent

 FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

 GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

 HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

 IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

 LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

 LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

 OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

 OMSG: Oh My!  Sorry, Gas!

 ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor

Laughing... And Can't Get Up

 SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

 WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

 WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

 WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

 GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have always been confused when the word " Service" was used with these agencies:


Internal Revenue  ' Service '
U.S. Postal  ' Service '
Telephone ' Service '
Cable TV ' Service '
Customer ' Service '

 This is not what I thought Service “meant”.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' all his cows.
BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  

 

Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

You are now as enlightened as I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wooden Bowl
================

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. 

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table but the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and 

failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.

When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

"We must do something about Grandfather," said the son.
"I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor." 

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.

There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. 

Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.

He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"

Just as sweetly, the boy responded,

"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when I grow up."

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.
 Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
 Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family.

 

And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive.
 Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen and their minds ever process the messages they absorb.

If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere,they will imitate that attitude

for the rest of their lives.

The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child's future.

Let's be wise builders and role models.


~Author Unknown~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ACTUAL  PASSPORT  LETTER-----HILARIOUS!

 This  letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough) You definitely feel the guy's pain! 

 

An actual letter to the passport office...
    

    Dear  Sirs,

 I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my  address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable T.V. from  them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where

I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my  social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed  for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's  license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

 Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off  this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit!  You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address?

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal asses working there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?  I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would  you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,  believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell  anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another 

copy of my birth certificate,to the tune of $60.

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make  sense. You'd rather have us running all over the  place  like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some idiot to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic  morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile?  We're totally pissed  off!

Signed - An Irate Citizen.

P.S.. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? 

Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 .......

I have served in  the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances 

up the yingyang..........

 

However, I have to get someone  'important' to verify who I am - 

you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !

Sincerely,
You Sure In The  Hell Should Know Who I  Am.

..............And you want to run  our health care system?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What are you ??? Stupid?? Red Eye Flashes Twice !!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,

"I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"

"Oh, no! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."

"I also heard that you've been calling me fat!"

"Oh, no! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."

"I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"

"Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you're having a great weekend,,,Bore ya more later >;o)

Swiped this off Rosemary...over at Content in a Cottage. I'm sure she won't mind.
Every once in a while,,,someone comes along and blows my mind.

DOT