Just a short note, I'm alive and doing fine.

If this is your first time here,,Welcome !

I hop around on blogs too, but lately I been slackin. 

You know how it is with all the holidays and ummmm FaceBook

We all been busy !! 

I hope you had a Great Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas 

and have a Happy New Year.

We did !! Most of it is a blur now, but I remember having a great time. We got to see a lot of friends and family and that's priceless.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Let's Do It !!

God Bless Texas

 

The Queen and I took another trip south. I love it down there. We had a great time. I don't know how but we have been very fortunate to meet some of the most hospitable people in our lives. Unlike me who should probably be in some kind of hospital,

in a straight jacket,in a padded room.
Thank you Texas,,,for always making me feel at home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.- Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Desmond Thomas Doss (February 7, 1919 – March 23, 2006) was the first conscientious objector to receive the Medal of Honor and one of only three so honored.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. 

All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order,

"What would you like, sir?"
 He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers,
 "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains
her composure she returns and asks again,

"What would you like, sir?"

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,

"A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him
across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,
 "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.

 One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask if we're open."
 Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in aloud voice asked,

"What are you sellin' here?"

 One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."

 Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well. Only two left!"
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS.... INTERESTING


Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already,
three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

 Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.



Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote
counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.


Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 Martinis a day.


Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


Candidate C:
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery..


Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Decide first... No peeking, and then scroll down for the
response.

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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolf Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.


Remember: Amateurs .... Built the ark.

Professionals ... Built the Titanic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE REAL PROBLEM WITH OUR GOVERNMENTAL SYSTEM - - - -

The folks who are getting free shit,
don't like the folks who are paying for the free shit,
because the folks who are paying for the free shit,
can no longer afford to pay for both the free shit and their own shit.
 

And, the folks who are paying for the free shit,
want the free shit to stop, and the folks who are getting the free shit,want even MORE free shit on top of the free shit they're already getting!

The people who are forcing the people who PAY for the free shit,
have told the people who are RECEIVING the free shit,
that the people who are PAYING for the free shit are being
mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So .... the people who are GETTING the free shit,
have been convinced they need to HATE the
people who are PAYING for the free shit,
by the people who are forcing the people
who are PAYING for the free shit and
GIVING them the free shit in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Just for fun, I went and had my cards read,,,,you can too.

Read my Cards

 

Card #1 The World

How you feel about yourself now  »You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arrival of your hearts desires. You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards of past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.


Card #2 The Moon

 

What you most want at this moment  »The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.


Card #3 The Hanged Man 

You fear letting go, yet this place of limbo and indecision is not a good place to be. Are you being emotionally blackmailed so you don't go? Don't be the victim. Sometimes we have to have the strength to let go to attract new positive possibilities in our life.
 

The Emperor

Card #4 The Emperor: What is going for you  »You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want. What's more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life is there for the asking. Go for it!

Card #5 The Chariot

 

What is going against you  »Watch out for being too arrogant or letting that ego of yours get over inflated, nobody likes a know it all. Watch that temper too, aggressive bullying behaviour will only set you back. If this doesn't sound like you, beware of someone like this that could set you back. This is a time of movement and change, and conflicts ending in victory, so don't give up.
 

Card#6 Strength

 Courage and self-belief is what you need to succeed. You may already feel overflowing with this, and if so there's no doubt you will achieve what you want with your career, finances and love life. If you are feeling negative, look inward for that strength and courage, you know you are capable of having self-belief and you'll reap great rewards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don’t know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!!!!  It's the shampoo I use in the shower!

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning…
FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY!

NO wonder I have been gaining weight!!!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead. Their label reads,
DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.
Problem Solved!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen
Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'

***********************
An older gentleman was
On the operating table
Awaiting surgery
And he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I LOVE IT!)

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
When you stop lying about your age
And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say "you don't look that old." ------They lie.
---------------------------------
The older we get,
The fewer things
Seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------

Some people
Try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
And some of the roads weren't paved.
********************

When you are dissatisfied
And would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when
Everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------

One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
Is that it is such a nice change
From being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,
But being old is comfortable.

First you forget names,
Then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
You forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Two guys, one old, one young are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
 

The old guy says to the young guy,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
 

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
 

The old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her..
What does she look like? 

The young guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall with red hair,
Blue eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra,
Long legs and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'
(ADORABLE)
*********************

(And this final one especially for me,)
Lord,
Keep Your arm around my shoulder,
And, Your hand over my mouth!

Have a great weekend !!!

 Hey it's vacation time and we're headed to Texas for a couple of days to visit some friends. So I'm getting in a Texas state of mind.

I like JT, you can tell he has lived what he sings.
Some songs have some harsh words, sometimes life is harsh.
Take the time to listen to the whole song.
(Removed player,,,,sorry) 
But if you want to keep up with & find some songs from JT and the sinners..
Here Ya Go !


Attention Sinners Fans: we are looking at getting out west and would like some information on clubs in the following cities - Albuquerque NM, Flagstaff AR, Phoenix/Tuscon AR, Las Cruces NM - any clubs you have been to and enjoyed or think we might do well in we'd sure appreciate it!/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today's post will have some very cool images scattered

through it. I'm amazed by this young mans creativity.

Tom Hill is a 23 year-old self taught sculptor who creates life size animal sculptures using nothing but recycled horseshoes.

Trouble Making Biker
There  I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly,

as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY.

I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.
I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parkinglot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.I left my wallet in the cab I took home.  I found my wife with another manand then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to itall, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing. 

But enough about me, how's your day going?

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square, Rome.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

 The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.  When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" 

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,

 Slim,

Tall,

38D breasts,

24" waist and

34" hips.

When she walks into a room, people say, 'My God!'"

A Farmers Logic

You know there are so many TV channels,

each one starved for new programs.  
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.

The interview went as follows:

The lady reporter:  I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease.   

Can you offer any reason for this disease?

The farmer stared at the reporter and said .
Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?

Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?

Farmer: Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?

Reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?

Farmer:  I am getting to the point, Miss.  Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day .... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?

THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED ...

 The Pilot and the Priest


A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. 

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 

"Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 

"I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."

"Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"

"Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. 

"When you preached - people slept. 

When he flew, people prayed."


I knew you'd like it!

Have a great weekend !!!

What Comes Around, Goes Around

Ripped off from a good friend

 
A woman would be much better off if she 

could determine the difference between a man 

that flatters her & a man that compliments her...

a man that spends money on her & a man

that invests in her...a man that views her as

property & a man that views her properly...

a man that lusts after her & a man that loves her...

a man that believes he is Gods gift to women & a man that REMEMBERS a woman was God's gift to man. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have lived a lot,
trembled a lot,
was surrounded by little men
who forgot that we entered naked
and exit naked and that 

no accountant can audit life in our favor.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life
 
...is a state of mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Have a great weekend !!

HEY !!! Can you believe it ?? .............Me Neither

 

I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends and family. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump...I'm not much on physical activity!.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Learned To Love You Today
============================

You're miserable and probably one of the rudest people

I've ever come across.

When I approach you, you turn away and pretend that

I am not there, until you're ready.

I have tried a thousand times to make you smile, and you 

have tried a thousand times not to.

I have dreaded even having to deal with you.

I even tried coming
at another time only to find you there at all hours.

The hard, staid, look on your face

remains unchanged no matter
what day it is, 

what time it is or even what season.

A "Beautiful day!" gets a moan.

"Hello, how are you today?" always returns "The same."

I have given up on you;

I have been angered by you. I have even
thought about complaining to the manager, but didn't.

Then one day I caught myself acting just like you 

and realized that I must stop.

I finally resolved myself to the fact that you

are who you are and I cannot change that.

You are a fact of my life, and I must learn to deal with it.

You made me.

The one day that I permitted myself to return the emptiness,
rude behavior, terrible attitude and silent treatment, 

you chose to say something.

I approached the checkout and you said, "Are you Okay?"
I was stunned. I could actually feel my brow, my entire face
scrunch up apparently angry that you would ask.

"Am I okay?" I said in disbelief.
 

"Yes." you replied.  "You are usually so upbeat and chipper."

I stood in this dream-like state confused

by what was going on.

You looked at me and said,

"I depend on you to lift my spirits
every time you come in. 

I work three jobs, my bills are piling up, 

my kids need clothes for school,  my husband left me and
three weeks later I found out I have cancer."

I was speechless.

"Now you come in with this attitude today," she said.

I actually apologized.

I never considered that you were much more than a clerk.

I never tried to understand that behind 

that face was personal pain, life challenges and loss.

Sure you should learn to separate work

and life, but sometimes life digs in, hurts,

and you end up wearing it like an ugly
dress. It fits, but no one wants to see it.

Knowing now how difficult your life is,

I will see you through the eyes of love.

Love is more than romantic.

Love is compassionate.
Love is kind. Love is forgiving. 

Love is seeing beyond the pain.

"I learned to love you today."

~by Bob Perks www.BobPerks.com~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blond  city girl named Amy marries a  Colorado rancher.
One morning,  on his way out to check on the cows,

the rancher says to Amy,


 'The insemination man is coming over

to impregnate one of our  cows today,
 so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above

where the cow's  stall is in the barn. 

Please show him where the cow is when

he gets  here, OK?'

 The rancher leaves for the fields. 

After a while, the artificial
 insemination man arrives and 

knocks on the front door.

 Amy takes him down to the barn. 

They walk along the row of cows and when Amy
 sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'

 The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, 

asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know;

how would YOU know that this is

the right cow to be bred?'

 'That's simple," she said. 

"By the nail that's over its stall,'

she explains very confidently.

 Laughing rudely at her, the man says,

'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'

 The blond turns to walk away and 

says sweetly over her shoulder,

 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the first day, God created the dog and said,

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark 

at anyone who comes in or walks past. 

For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. 

How about only ten years and 

I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, 

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.  

For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?  

That's a pretty long time to perform. 

How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God , again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said,

"You must go into the field with the farmer

all day long and suffer under the sun,

have calves and give milk to support your farmer's family. 

For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you

want me to live for sixty years.  

How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, 

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. 

For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years?  Could you possibly 

give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, 

the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back;

that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God  "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, 

play and enjoy ourselves.  For the next forty years, we 

slave in the sun to support our family.  For the next ten 

years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.  

And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.  

I'm doing it as a public service. If you're looking for me, 

I'll be on the front porch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do people say, "Grow some balls?" 

Balls are weak and vulnerable.

If you want to toughen up, grow a vagina.

Those things can take a pounding. Trust me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey !! yeah it's me again

Did you think I was lost ?

Heck you didn't even miss me, didcha ??

That's okay, I been busy too.

A lot has happened since April 13th.

Ummm let's see. I got down so bad

I couldn't hardly go anymore, went to a doctor,

she put me on some pills and I'm doing lots better.

I had to go see her last thursday,

just a check up thing on some blood work

I'd donated the week before. 

I worked the night before and heard 

on the radio that sex 3 times a week 

reduces a mans chance of heart disease

and stroke by 50%..... 

I thought that was great news and was

gonna ask Doc for a prescription of sex, 3 times a week.

But I couldn't get the nerve up.

I know, hard for me to believe too.

Lisa said I couldn't afford it and the 

insurance isn't going to pay for it. I'm doomed.

Doc told me I was doing well and set me

up to come back in six months. 

As I was getting up to leave she said... 

"I want to do a complete physical

next time, prostate exam and all".

I looked in her eyes with confusion

and she said,,,"you're over due".

I glanced down and looked at her hands,,,, 

she has small fingers, so maybe I'll do it

,,,,got 6 months to worry about it anyway. *shrugs*

I been raising hell with upper management

where I work. Been under a lot of stress

(stress=wanting to choke the ever lovin shit outta somebody) 

We do have something in common,

I don't like them and they don't like me. 

And we're just not sure what to do with each other.

I did lose 50lbs on the..."I can't fuckin stand you" diet.

But life is good *little evil grin* 

And speakin of grins......................let's do it.

Daddy Long Legs  

· Stories about children and their views of the world are always touching.

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

· He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

· Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders

of nature through such innocent eyes.

· Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

· He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

· 'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.

· 'They're mating,' her father replied.

· 'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked

· a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

· 'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

· As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied,

'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

· 'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment,

then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.

· 'Well", she said, "that may be okay in California ,

but we're not having any of that stuff in Oklahoma .."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"If you lend someone $20, and never see

 that person again

 it was probably worth it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you go to bed 9 hours before you

 have to wake up, and you wife
wants to have 2 hours of sex,

 how much sleep will you get?

V

V

V

V
8 hours, 57 minutes - who cares what she wants! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein
participants were asked to tell the

 younger generation how much
harder they had it "in the old days."

 Winners, runners-up,
and honorable mentions are listed below.
 
Second Runner-Up:
 
In my day, we couldn't afford shoes,

 so we went barefoot. 

In winter, we had to wrap our feet

 with barbed wire for traction.
 
First Runner-Up:
 
In my day, we didn't have MTV 

or in-line skates,

 or any of that stuff. 

No, it was 45s and regular old

 metal-wheeled roller skates, 

and the 45s always skipped, 

so to get them to play right
you'd weigh the needle down 

with something like quarters,

 which we never had 

because our allowances were way too small, 

so we'd use our skate keys instead and 

end up forgetting they were taped
to the record player arm so that 

we couldn't adjust our skates,
which didn't really matter

 because those crummy metal wheels
would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, 

and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, 

not like today.
 
And the winner:

In my day, we didn't have rocks. 

We had to go down to the creek
and wash our clothes by beating 

them with our heads.
 
Honorable Mentions:
 
In my day, we didn't have fancy

 health-food restaurants. 

Every day we ate lots of easily

 recognizable animal parts, along with
potatoes.
 
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. 

We had to do addition on our fingers. 

To subtract, we had to have some fingers
amputated.
 
In my day, we didn't get that disembodied,

 slightly ticked-off voice saying 

'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors
closed, and if your hand was sticking out,

 it scraped along the tunnel all the way

 to the next station and it was a bloody stump
at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
 
In my day, we didn't have water.

 We had to smash together our own
hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
 
Kids today think the world revolves around them.

 In my day, the sun revolved around the world, 

and the world was perched on the
back of a giant tortoise.
 
Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just

 a bunch of gray-haired,
liberal 80-year-old guys. 

It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal
60-year-old guys.
 
In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. 

If a one-eyedrazorback barbarian warrior 

was chasing you with an ax, you just
had to hope you could outrun him.
 
Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity.

 We had to watch television by candlelight.
 
In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond.

 Oh, wait. Yes we did. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a great day =)

It's Gonna Be Me.

Buy one,,,get one free !! That's an ad on tv from a local Men's store.
(now I remember why I don't watch much tv)
You know,,,suits,shirts,socks,ties,
suspenders,hankies...the whole shebang.
Buy one,,,get one free !!
Doesn't that tell you anything ??

It tells me they're charging too much for one item if they can afford to give me one if I buy one.

Which sets my mind to racing to thoughts gone by...What do the people think who run out and buy the new cars when they first hit the dealerships,,,then 4 months later the dealers are selling the same car for thousands less ??

I don't know about you,,but that would be something that'd piss me off. 

Want to know what else pisses me off ???

Government shutdowns,,,I say let's shut it down and send all the crooks home.
Grandpa told me..."If you know a good man who's running for some kind of office...
Don't vote for him,,,ya don't want to screw him up".

Damn it ! I got to stop watching tv.

 

 

"Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause.
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with men."

Most heavily decorated soldier



Psych 101

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

 As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... All the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

 Now, put the cold water away.

 Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

 Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.  The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... With enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs.  Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

 Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will  try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask?  Because in their minds... That is the way it has always been!

 This is how Congress operates... And is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first
woman, a University of Oklahoma graduate, as President of the United
States, Susan Sooner.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and
says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 30 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as
she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.'

'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and
take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'

'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother
wear?'

Oh Dad, replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown
custom-made by the best designer in New York.

'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you and
your friends like to eat.'

The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad. The entire affair is
going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, I’ll ensure your
meals are salt free Dad, I really want you to come.'

So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Sooner is
being sworn in as President of the United States.

In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom. Dad noticing the
senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that
woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the
United States.’

The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'

Dad says proudly, 'Her brother played football at OU.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, It's a good excuse !!

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER:

Shit, I forgot what it was....

Good  judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from  bad judgment~ Will Rogers

It's All Good !

It's been a great day, heck it's been a great week.

Well except for that blowing the motor in the Toy... Oh well,,,hopefully better things to come on that.

We spent the day at the lake with family and friends. It was a small gathering, but the conversation flowed and new friends were made of people who only knew each other by sight..(hey there's Ole what's his name ??) Or people who know the same people somehow.

Working the way I have been has really put a damper on my social life, I tell ya.
The kids grew up and I got old. (way too soon)

We've all got a life and jobs with different schedules and it's difficult to get everybody rounded up at the same place at the same time.

But sometimes we manage to squeeze out a couple of hours and escape the hustle and bustle of everything. Something we should really do more often.*Soon*

So anyway,,tomorrow's the last day of vacation,,,I got a lot of stuff done and
had time to relax and reflect on life.

I know one thing,,I got to change my ways if I'm to keep my New Year's Resolution of...
Becoming a lazy bum...it just isn't working out yet. And sadly,,,I really don't like Beer.







Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that, in spite of two different 'specialties', they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

 Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: "Hysterias and Posteriors". The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
 So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
 "Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.
 Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.
 Then came: "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.
 Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable yet again.
 So they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.
 "Nuts and Butts"??.....no way.
 "Freaks and Cheeks"??.....still no good.
 "Loons and Moons"?.....forget it.
 Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
 Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--"Odds and Ends"
 Everyone loved it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I go to sign in today and a little poop up from blogger appears,,,,

says something about 5 Dynamic Views for Readers.....
And I'm thinking "DYNAMIC views !!??"

The word dynamic just does something to me. Sooo,,,I look it up to find out....why ?

    fabulism (OOOO, I loves that word too !!)
    vignette
  gadabout
    meiosis

 Results from Dictionary.com
dy·nam·ic [dahy-nam-ik]–adjective Also, dy·nam·i·cal.
1.pertaining to or characterized by energy or effective action; vigorously active 

or forceful; energetic: the dynamic president of the firm.

2.Physics . a.of or pertaining to force or power.
b.of or pertaining to force related to   motion.
3.blah
4.blah
5.blah.
6.blah
7.more blah

I looked to see what's so "Dynamic".....
What ?? No Fireworks ?? Where's the Beef??

Okay,,I help ya out some.

www.ug2bk.blogspot.com/view/flipcard  

When you get there you can change to the other views by clicking on the bluish button

that says "flipcard" and choose different views.

I know how this guy feels,,,I just don't have time to set around and make up a song about it.

*And like Duhhhh,,,Bad Language Alert*

Butcha know what I think about it ??...*Oh it's safe !*

Have a great week, Hope to see ya soon !!

Dang Straight....It's vacation time baby !!

Hey guess who........
Oh dammit, come on,,play along. It's been a hectic start of some vacation.
Entertain me !!

First,, my sciatic nerve starts freaking out on my second night of work....
Or so I hope that's the problem. But to get another injection in my back,
I got to be referred to the nuerologist again.

Annnnd to get referred by the so called specialist that referred me last time....
I got to be referred by a primary doctor to see him even.
Which, I really don't have a primary Dr.(so we're working on that)
Can you say ObamaCare ???

Do ya'll know that Doctors kill people ???
Yep,,,I avoid them as much as possible.
Untilllll... I don't really care if I live or die,,,fix me if you can, kind of deals.

The Queen and I were invited to visit some friends in the Great state of Tennessee
a couple weeks earlier and I said "I'll be there".

Anybody who knows me...knows I try my best to keep my word on things like that.

So we left out about 5am on our 9hour 15minute trip for Gainesboro TN.

To visit some friends that had moved there from Illinois.

It was hectic getting there,,,but we didn't arrive too late.
It was cloudy about half way,,and raining the second half.
Mother Nature is all freaked out, it was
sunny and 80 degrees the weekend before
this weekend it was 40 degrees, raining, almost sleeting...Absolutely beautiful !

About 1/2 way between Memphis and Nashville just 10 miles south of I-40 is a little place called Lexington,TN.

God decided I needed to slow down and meet some very nice people there.

Around the 115 mile marker the car started making a funny noise and vibrating.
At first I thought it was a tire,,
And I started to get over in the right hand lane, but another car was a little close.
I gave my signal and he backed off as I came across in front of him
the engine made a kapliiinnnng noise,,
then a kaplunka kaplunka,kaplunka noise, and began smoking vigorously.
At 70mph I dropped a valve in the engine.

Yeah,,that's not good...It kinda tries to lock the rear wheels up and throw ya in a slide.
Of course, hitting the shoulder at 70 mph...Ehh,I don't reccomend that either.

We kept everything under control and got off the road safely.

And as we're setting there,,,kind of in the middle of nowhere,
raining and gawsh there's alot of big rigs on the road !!

Dialing 411,,trying to figure out who,what, where I am.

I call my friends and let them know I'm going to be late.
She starts to look on the internet for me to see if she can find me
a tow service,,but before she has time.
A wonderful Sheriff pulled up behind me with his lights flashing.

I never been so freakin happy to see blue lights behind me in all my life !!
It was raining and I had a hoodie, so I got
out of my car slowly (like I can just bounce out with the sciatic thingy, huh)

He called me a tow truck and told me I could set in my car. Wonderful Guy !

When the tow truck arrived we got to meet another great guy, Mike.
He loaded up the car,gave us a ride to where we could rent a car.
When we got in the truck,I introduced Lisa and Mike drove to the next exit,
then turned around and headed back west.

It started out a quiet ride,,,I told Mike he'd have to excuse us,,,
we was kind of speechless at the moment. He said he completely understood.

 A short time later,I asked if he knew anybody that hauled cars. I mean...
What do ya do when that kind of thing happens ??
He offered to sell me a 16' trailer if I could find something to pull it.
I wasn't going for that.
Then he suggested renting a U-haul......
I thought......"Wonderful Idea !!!"

About that time we came upon a stoplight on steroids. It was a real eye catcher.
I tried to find a image of one, and couldn't.
It had like a white strobe light  around the red.
So just believe me when I say..
"if you run that stoplight, you deserve to get T-Boned".
Mike took a left when it turned green and I read the street sign... Church St.
In my mind I was thinking..."cool, going to Church".

A short distance down the road Mike pulled into Helms Motor Company and we met an Angel named Candy. I told her my situation about needing a car and she told me...
"Remarkably, She just had one returned and it's all she had,,it hasn't been fueled up or cleaned up..Do you want it anyway ?"

Almost too good to be true...
The lady knows how to take care of business. She had me fixed up and ready to go in no time at all.


Mike stayed around during this time and
unloaded my bags from the car
 Then he told me where my car would be stored for $30 a day until I figured out
what I was going to do, and wished us a safe trip and we continued our journey.

We was blessed with a detour thru small town America and we met some really nice people there.

Some how...we arrived at our destination, just about the time I originally planned.
Close enough, you could hardly tell the difference anyway.

The rest of the trip was fantastic ! Everything just clicked after that.

U-haul set me up the next morning. They'd have a truck and tow dolly waiting for me
right there in Lexington where I had to return the car and pick mine up.

When we went to pick up the car, I called Mike,,
he told me he was in the middle of lunch at the store and that I would have to wait a little.
I told him,, I'd just come upto the store and eat too. He said come on up !
I went up to the store where he was and found Mike really in the middle of lunch.
He was cooking !! for everybody who came in and ordered something.

Mike made me a cheeseburger and some onion rings.
Oh man... it was awesome for a quick lunch.

He came out and set down as we finished our burgers and he was done cooking,
and visited with one of the local officers.
Who was a friendly young man too.

As soon as we was done he was ready.
Kind of glad he got to set down a spell.
I could tell by their conversation.
Mike's a very busy, hard working man.
A volunteer firefighter, he drives the firetruck to some accidents.

Which kind of puts him at a conflict of interest...
If he drives the firetruck to the accident and helps people,
he doesn't get paid and doesn't get the tow,
which is how he makes a living.

But...I can tell, Mike's one of those guys
who's going to do what needs to be done.
When it needs done.No matter what.
One of the "Good Ol Boys"

And me,,The next time I go to TN,
 I know this little store named "Fishers" about 30 miles out of my way,
where I can get a good cheeseburger and onion rings.
It's about 7 miles east of Lexington on HWY 412.
The food is good, and the company and conversation can't be beat.


We had a great time visiting our friends.
Wish they lived a little closer and we could see each other a little more.

But I guess if they did, I wouldn't of
had the chance to meet some of the fine people I did on this trip.

Our friends took us to a huge indoor flea market.
Where some people actually work on their crafts.
I was very intrigued by a coin cutter.
*Brain Flash*..But you know how I am with money...
I'm thinking maybe I'll use something a bit different and spend my coins instead.

Most of the mornings were just cloudy and cool,
but it rained every afternoon we was there,
until we headed home.
Which kind of put a damper on cooking out,and freaking out nature.
But it was really cool just sittin around the livingroom visiting too.

Hopefully, we'll get to do it again soon.


Now all I got to do is recuperate and recover...Yeah ,,,that's what I'm thinkin.

Anybody got a toyota 1.8 laying around in your way, you want to get rid of cheap ??
Yeah you know me,,,I wouldn't mind something a little juiced up =)

P.S. I'm starting a tribute blog, kind of a memorial page to the vets and hero's
who are overlooked by our so called media.

If you know somebody who should be recognized,
drop me a comment with a link, or send me
an email with "memorial" in the subject line to edgyone58@hotmail.com

How sad that our veterans are still over looked and taken for granted.
May Shifty and all our American heros past and living be remembered in our daily freedoms,
which we take for granted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!



 Tuesday's Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side :



 1- Calif's 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit

 2- The Calif Supreme Court ruling that ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits.

 Why don't they just deport them when they arrive to register?



 3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Tax payers from Illegals
using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care -

  At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a year

 Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!

 We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,??
WTF ???

 In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey . And
 now Pakistan .....home of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

 Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they
 get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour
 Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!



 They call Social Security and Medicare a entitlement even though most of us
 have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us
 to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government
 borrow from it in the first place?

 We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for
 the adoption of foreign orphans.



 AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going
 to bed hungry, elderly going without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc.


 YET.....................

 They have a 'Benefit'  for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and
 planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and
 medical supplies.

 Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other
 countries.

 Sad isn't it?


Here's something for ya. very educational

Sadly,,,this sounds like my kind of guy. Sometimes you got to fight extremism,,with extremism.

Life,,,,,get out and live it

 Yeah,,,I know,,,it's been awhile,,,but I been hooooooked up !!
But vacation is just around the corner !



GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE:

Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog who mauled:
 3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall,
 6 illegal's wearing Obama t-shirts,
 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts,
 2 rappers,
 5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English,
 9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks,
 8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English,
 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
 FOR THE LAST TIME.......
 THE DAMN DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!!"

Foul Language Alert (you knew you couldn't escape it)

Man It's getting rough,,,how much more can we take ?

I walked up to a guy at work and looked up at him and looked him right in the eye,,and
asked him..."Are you on some kind of happy pill ?"

He didn't break my stare and said ....."NO!"
I asked him again..."No kind of happy pill like prozac or something ?"
And he boldly looked down at me into my eyes and said ...."No"
I said "Oh" ....He asked...."Why ???
I said ,,,,,uhhh,,I was gonna ask if ya had an extra.


The Queen and I got out and met up with my sister and her hubby
(coolest brother-inlaw in the world) at Cheddars.


This is not good at all.




QUOTE OF THE CENTURY........MAYBE EVEN THE MILLENNIUM 


  Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way that you can quickly
understand them.  This quote came from the Czech Republic.   Someone over there has it
figured out. It was translated into English from an article in the Prague  newspaper
Prager Zeitungon on 04.28.2010.   


"The danger to America is not Barack Obama,but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man
like him with the Presidency.  It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of
an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to
a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.

The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr.Obama,
who is a mere symptom of what ails America ..
Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to
the vast confederacy of fools that made him theirprince. 

The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. 
It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president."



How do you starve an Obama supporter??   

Hide their food stamps under their work shoes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Think Outside Your Box

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You
pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there
could only be one passenger in your car. Think before you
continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once
actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and
thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend
because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect
chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find
your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no
trouble coming up with his answer.

THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN. THINK THINK THINK

WHAT DID HE SAY?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend,
and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind
and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn
thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Personally, I would have run the old lady over and put her out of
her misery, shagged the perfect woman against the bus stop and
drove off with my old friend.

Our Tax Dollars at Work

House Minority Leader  Lawrence F. Cafero Jr., R-Norwalk, pictured standing, far right, speaks while colleagues Rep. Barbara Lambert, D-Milford and Rep. Jack F. Hennessy, D-Bridgeport, play solitaire Monday night as the House convened to vote on a  new budget. (AP)

The guy sitting in the row in front of these two....he's on Facebook,

and the guy behind Hennessy is checking out the baseball scores.

These are the folks that couldn't get the budget out by Oct. 1, and are about to control 

your health care, cap and trade, and the list goes on and on…. 
Should we buy them larger screen computers - or - a ticket home, permanently?
  This is one of their 3-DAY WORK WEEKS that we all pay for (salary is about $179,000 per year).

Ummmm Yeah,,,how much more can we take ???