tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65768263679988372802024-03-18T22:56:41.118-05:00XXX You Got To Be Kidding Me !! XXXJust things the voices in my head tell me to share. You can't make this stuff up.Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-19163815793411857762012-01-05T17:10:00.000-06:002012-04-30T15:12:15.393-05:00Just a short note, I'm alive and doing fine.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">If this is your first time here,,Welcome !</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hop around on blogs too, but lately I been slackin. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know how it is with all the holidays and ummmm FaceBook</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> We all been busy !! </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I hope you had a Great Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">and have a Happy New Year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We did !! Most of it is a blur now, but I remember having a great time. We got to see a lot of friends and family and that's priceless.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Hope to hear from you soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's Do It !!</span></div>
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<br />Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-25612290879584411692011-10-14T16:19:00.000-05:002011-10-14T16:19:33.615-05:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><u>God Bless Texas</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u> </u><br /><br />The Queen and I took another trip south. I love it down there. We had a great time. I don't know how but we have been very fortunate to meet some of the most hospitable people in our lives. Unlike me who should probably be in some kind of hospital,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">in a straight jacket,in a padded room.<br />Thank you Texas,,,for always making me feel at home.<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.- Unknown<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond_Doss">Desmond Thomas Doss</a> (February 7, 1919 – March 23, 2006) was the first conscientious objector to receive the Medal of Honor and one of only three so honored.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order,<br /><br />"What would you like, sir?"<br /> He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers,<br /> "A quickie."<br /><br />The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains<br />her composure she returns and asks again,<br /><br />"What would you like, sir?"<br /><br />Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,<br /><br />"A quickie, please."<br /><br />This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him<br />across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.<br /><br />A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,<br /> "Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /> One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask if we're open."<br /> Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in aloud voice asked,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "What are you sellin' here?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /> One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /> Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well. Only two left!"<br /> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS.... INTERESTING<br /><br /><br />Question 1: <br />If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already,<br />three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?<br /><br /> Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.<br /><br /><br /><br />Question 2:<br />It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote<br />counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.<br /><br /><br />Candidate A:<br />Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 Martinis a day.<br /><br /><br />Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.<br /><br /><br />Candidate C:<br />He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery..<br /><br /><br />Which of these candidates would be our choice?<br /><br />Decide first... No peeking, and then scroll down for the<br />response.<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br /><br />````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````<br />Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.<br /><br />Candidate B is Winston Churchill.<br /><br />Candidate C is Adolf Hitler.<br /><br />And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:<br />If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.<br /><br />Pretty interesting isn't it?<br />Makes a person think before judging someone.<br /><br /><br />Remember: Amateurs .... Built the ark.<br /><br />Professionals ... Built the Titanic.<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />THE REAL PROBLEM WITH OUR GOVERNMENTAL SYSTEM - - - -<br /><br />The folks who are getting free shit,<br />don't like the folks who are paying for the free shit,<br />because the folks who are paying for the free shit,<br />can no longer afford to pay for both the free shit and their own shit.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And, the folks who are paying for the free shit,<br />want the free shit to stop, and the folks who are getting the free shit,want even MORE free shit on top of the free shit they're already getting! <br /><br />The people who are forcing the people who PAY for the free shit,<br />have told the people who are RECEIVING the free shit,<br />that the people who are PAYING for the free shit are being<br />mean, prejudiced, and racist. <br /><br />So .... the people who are GETTING the free shit,<br />have been convinced they need to HATE the<br />people who are PAYING for the free shit,<br />by the people who are forcing the people<br />who are PAYING for the free shit and<br />GIVING them the free shit in the first place.<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Just for fun, I went and had my cards read,,,,you can too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.free-tarot-reading.net/free.php">Read my Cards</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Card #1 The World</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">How you feel about yourself now »You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arrival of your hearts desires. You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards of past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.<br /><br /><br />Card #2 The Moon</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> What you most want at this moment »The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.<br /><br /><br />Card #3 The Hanged Man </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><br />You fear letting go, yet this place of limbo and indecision is not a good place to be. Are you being emotionally blackmailed so you don't go? Don't be the victim. Sometimes we have to have the strength to let go to attract new positive possibilities in our life.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Emperor</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><br />Card #4 The Emperor: What is going for you »You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want. What's more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life is there for the asking. Go for it!<br /><br />Card #5 </span><span style="font-size: large;">The Chariot</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> What is going against you »Watch out for being too arrogant or letting that ego of yours get over inflated, nobody likes a know it all. Watch that temper too, aggressive bullying behaviour will only set you back. If this doesn't sound like you, beware of someone like this that could set you back. This is a time of movement and change, and conflicts ending in victory, so don't give up.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Card#6 Strength</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Courage and self-belief is what you need to succeed. You may already feel overflowing with this, and if so there's no doubt you will achieve what you want with your career, finances and love life. If you are feeling negative, look inward for that strength and courage, you know you are capable of having self-belief and you'll reap great rewards.<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />I don’t know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!!!! It's the shampoo I use in the shower!<br /><br />When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and (duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning…<br />FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> NO wonder I have been gaining weight!!!<br />Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap instead. Their label reads,<br />DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.<br />Problem Solved!!!<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />THE OLDER CROWD<br />A distraught senior citizen<br />Phoned her doctor's office.<br />'Is it true,' she wanted to know,<br />'that the medication<br />You prescribed has to be taken<br />For the rest of my life?'<br />'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.<br />There was a moment of silence<br />Before the senior lady replied,<br />I'm wondering, then,<br />Just how serious is my condition<br />Because this prescription is marked<br />'NO REFILLS'.'<br /><br />***********************<br />An older gentleman was<br />On the operating table<br />Awaiting surgery<br />And he insisted that his son,<br />A renowned surgeon,<br />Perform the operation.<br />As he was about to get the anesthesia,<br />He asked to speak to his son<br />'Yes, Dad, what is it? '<br />'Don't be nervous, son;<br />Do your best<br />And just remember,<br />If it doesn't go well,<br />If something happens to me,<br />Your mother<br />Is going to come and<br />Live with you and your wife....'<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I LOVE IT!)<br /><br />Aging:<br />Eventually you will reach a point<br />When you stop lying about your age<br />And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love<br />to hear them say "you don't look that old." ------They lie.<br />---------------------------------<br />The older we get,<br />The fewer things<br />Seem worth waiting in line for.<br />---------------------------------<br /><br />Some people<br />Try to turn back their odometers.<br />Not me!<br />I want people to know 'why'<br />I look this way.<br />I've traveled a long way<br />And some of the roads weren't paved.<br />********************<br /><br />When you are dissatisfied<br />And would like to go back to youth,<br />Think of Algebra.<br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />You know you are getting old when<br />Everything either dries up or leaks.<br />-------------------------------<br /><br />One of the many things<br />No one tells you about aging<br />Is that it is such a nice change<br />From being young.<br /><br />Ah, being young is beautiful,<br />But being old is comfortable.<br /><br />First you forget names,<br />Then you forget faces.<br />Then you forget to pull up your zipper.<br />It's worse when<br />You forget to pull it down.<br />---------------------------------<br />Two guys, one old, one young are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The old guy says to the young guy,<br />'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,<br />And I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.<br />I'm looking for my wife, too...'<br />I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'<br /> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The old guy says, 'Well, maybe I can help you find her..<br />What does she look like? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> The young guy says,<br />'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall with red hair,<br />Blue eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra,<br />Long legs and is wearing short shorts.<br />What does your wife look like?'<br />To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,<br />--- let's look for yours.'<br />(ADORABLE)<br />*********************<br /><br />(And this final one especially for me,)<br />Lord,<br />Keep Your arm around my shoulder,<br />And, Your hand over my mouth!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have a great weekend !!!</span></div>
<br />Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-37306844727293031452011-09-20T20:41:00.000-05:002011-10-15T13:55:02.806-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Hey it's vacation time and we're headed to Texas for a couple of days to visit some friends. So I'm getting in a Texas state of mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I like JT, you can tell he has lived what he sings.<br />Some songs have some harsh words, sometimes life is harsh.<br />Take the time to listen to the whole song.<br />(Removed player,,,,sorry) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But if you want to keep up with & find some songs from JT and the sinners..<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/jacksontaylorandthesinners">Here Ya Go !</a><br /><br /><br />Attention Sinners Fans: we are looking at getting out west and would like some information on clubs in the following cities - Albuquerque NM, Flagstaff AR, Phoenix/Tuscon AR, Las Cruces NM - any clubs you have been to and enjoyed or think we might do well in we'd sure appreciate it!/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />Today's post will have some very cool images scattered <br /><br />through it. I'm amazed by this young mans creativity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tom Hill is a 23 year-old self taught sculptor who creates life size animal sculptures using nothing but recycled horseshoes.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQW-4Nx6krdoIFLe8owJChEBOpxJKQ92Oez66zXCOlBYsW5sO6K6Q4F-9hCprK68FdzQeMmE4mJy1km4ralmJ7Vjd3mCFDTNrBv5Dg5cFYUeNSTdSOeDjSUIWJWZZPXGacacrauZ5sJOay/s1600/RECYCLED1919.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQW-4Nx6krdoIFLe8owJChEBOpxJKQ92Oez66zXCOlBYsW5sO6K6Q4F-9hCprK68FdzQeMmE4mJy1km4ralmJ7Vjd3mCFDTNrBv5Dg5cFYUeNSTdSOeDjSUIWJWZZPXGacacrauZ5sJOay/s400/RECYCLED1919.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><u>Trouble Making Biker</u><br />There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.<br /><br />"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> as I burst into tears.<br /><br />"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I can`t stand to see a man crying."<br /><br />"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.<br />I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parkinglot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another manand then my dog bit me, so I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to itall, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But enough about me, how's your day going?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square, Rome.<br />The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."<br /><br /> The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."<br /><br />The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."<br /><br />The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." <br /><br />Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,<br />
<br />
Slim,<br />
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Tall,<br />
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38D breasts,<br />
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24" waist and<br />
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34" hips.<br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When she walks into a room, people say, 'My God!'"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /><br />A Farmers Logic</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfG1Pd0IfYZj_nHY-8nq1GysJllRy7P18Vcvjx6qrJRHF8nQ8Lr3Arftrijwq0NZIR_T-iRO-M1VTGJMizFnHAihJojD14Aduh8yw-4x8PMjtq8abQ0lrPwO51kpAUPjNnc91k2ehW1dMC/s1600/farmer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfG1Pd0IfYZj_nHY-8nq1GysJllRy7P18Vcvjx6qrJRHF8nQ8Lr3Arftrijwq0NZIR_T-iRO-M1VTGJMizFnHAihJojD14Aduh8yw-4x8PMjtq8abQ0lrPwO51kpAUPjNnc91k2ehW1dMC/s400/farmer.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />You know there are so many TV channels,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> each one starved for new programs. <br />In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.<br /><br />The interview went as follows: <br /><br />The lady reporter: I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Can you offer any reason for this disease? <br /><br />The farmer stared at the reporter and said .<br />Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?<br /><br />Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?<br /><br />Farmer: Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?<br /><br />Reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?<br /><br />Farmer: I am getting to the point, Miss. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day .... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?<br /><br />THE TV INTERVIEW WAS NEVER AIRED ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /> <u>The Pilot and the Priest</u><br /><br /><br />A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.<br /><br />Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"<br /><br />The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."<br /><br />Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.<br /><br />Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."<br /><br />Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."<br /><br />"Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"<br /><br />"Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"When you preached - people slept. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When he flew, people prayed."<br />
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<br />
I knew you'd like it!</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have a great weekend !!!</span></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-28480278828398343622011-08-27T10:04:00.000-05:002011-08-27T10:04:19.536-05:00What Comes Around, Goes Around<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Ripped off from a good friend</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u> </u><br />
A woman would be much better off if she </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">could determine the difference between a man </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">that flatters her & a man that compliments her...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">a man that spends money on her & a man</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> that invests in her...a man that views her as</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> property & a man that views her properly...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">a man that lusts after her & a man that loves her...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">a man that believes he is Gods gift to women & a man that REMEMBERS a woman was God's gift to man.</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/i5_YAj9lCQc" width="420"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><pre><span style="font-size: large;">I have lived a lot,
trembled a lot,
was surrounded by little men
who forgot that we entered naked
and exit naked and that </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">no accountant can audit life in our favor.</span></pre><span style="font-size: large;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><pre><span style="font-size: large;">Life
...is a state of mind.</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </span></pre></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE-9j152D3A9qK6aY7M9kV4dDsEqd0lI4T35hdnqn2kdXl5y758J1X9rzwPHBRhGD-FgPOvh5F38Y8UBT1utM-FIn_1d9JQS8efHKr7vAsy9WMYk1ECRU6uevYZnicS4mKmnC28ADgH2CC/s1600/ATT0000112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE-9j152D3A9qK6aY7M9kV4dDsEqd0lI4T35hdnqn2kdXl5y758J1X9rzwPHBRhGD-FgPOvh5F38Y8UBT1utM-FIn_1d9JQS8efHKr7vAsy9WMYk1ECRU6uevYZnicS4mKmnC28ADgH2CC/s640/ATT0000112.jpg" width="466" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have a great weekend !!</span></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-31305595055200691082011-08-26T09:14:00.000-05:002011-08-26T09:14:31.681-05:00HEY !!! Can you believe it ?? .............Me Neither<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends and family. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump...I'm not much on physical activity!.</span></span></h6><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I Learned To Love You Today<br />
============================<br />
<br />
You're miserable and probably one of the rudest people</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I've ever come across.<br />
<br />
When I approach you, you turn away and pretend that</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I am not there, until you're ready.<br />
<br />
I have tried a thousand times to make you smile, and you </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">have tried a thousand times not to.<br />
<br />
I have dreaded even having to deal with you.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I even tried coming<br />
at another time only to find you there at all hours.<br />
<br />
The hard, staid, look on your face</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> remains unchanged no matter<br />
what day it is, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">what time it is or even what season.<br />
<br />
A "Beautiful day!" gets a moan.<br />
<br />
"Hello, how are you today?" always returns "The same."<br />
<br />
I have given up on you;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I have been angered by you. I have even<br />
thought about complaining to the manager, but didn't.<br />
<br />
Then one day I caught myself acting just like you </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">and realized that I must stop.<br />
<br />
I finally resolved myself to the fact that you</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> are who you are and I cannot change that.<br />
<br />
You are a fact of my life, and I must learn to deal with it.<br />
<br />
You made me.<br />
<br />
The one day that I permitted myself to return the emptiness,<br />
rude behavior, terrible attitude and silent treatment, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">you chose to say something.<br />
<br />
I approached the checkout and you said, "Are you Okay?"<br />
I was stunned. I could actually feel my brow, my entire face<br />
scrunch up apparently angry that you would ask.<br />
<br />
"Am I okay?" I said in disbelief.<br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Yes." you replied. "You are usually so upbeat and chipper."<br />
<br />
I stood in this dream-like state confused</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> by what was going on.<br />
<br />
You looked at me and said,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> "I depend on you to lift my spirits<br />
every time you come in. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I work three jobs, my bills are piling up, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">my kids need clothes for school, my husband left me and<br />
three weeks later I found out I have cancer."<br />
<br />
I was speechless.<br />
<br />
"Now you come in with this attitude today," she said.<br />
<br />
I actually apologized.<br />
<br />
I never considered that you were much more than a clerk.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I never tried to understand that behind </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">that face was personal pain, life challenges and loss.<br />
<br />
Sure you should learn to separate work</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> and life, but sometimes life digs in, hurts,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> and you end up wearing it like an ugly<br />
dress. It fits, but no one wants to see it.<br />
<br />
Knowing now how difficult your life is,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I will see you through the eyes of love.<br />
<br />
Love is more than romantic.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Love is compassionate.<br />
Love is kind. Love is forgiving. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Love is seeing beyond the pain.<br />
<br />
"I learned to love you today."<br />
<br />
~by Bob Perks www.BobPerks.com~<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.<br />
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> the rancher says to Amy,<br />
<br />
<br />
'The insemination man is coming over</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> to impregnate one of our cows today,<br />
so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> where the cow's stall is in the barn. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Please show him where the cow is when</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> he gets here, OK?'<br />
<br />
The rancher leaves for the fields. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">After a while, the artificial<br />
insemination man arrives and </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">knocks on the front door.<br />
<br />
Amy takes him down to the barn. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">They walk along the row of cows and when Amy<br />
sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'<br />
<br />
The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blond, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> how would YOU know that this is <br />
<br />
the right cow to be bred?'<br />
<br />
'That's simple," she said. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"By the nail that's over its stall,'</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> she explains very confidently.<br />
<br />
Laughing rudely at her, the man says,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'<br />
<br />
The blond turns to walk away and </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">says sweetly over her shoulder,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MMToZSNzhlw" width="420"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
On the first day, God created the dog and said,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">at anyone who comes in or walks past. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."<br />
<br />
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> How about only ten years and </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'll give you back the other ten?"</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">So God saw it was good.<br />
<br />
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's a pretty long time to perform. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And God , again saw it was good.<br />
<br />
On the third day, God created the cow and said,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> "You must go into the field with the farmer</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> all day long and suffer under the sun,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> have calves and give milk to support your farmer's family. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."<br />
<br />
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> want me to live for sixty years. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And God agreed it was good.<br />
<br />
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> For this, I'll give you twenty years."<br />
<br />
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back;</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> that makes eighty, okay?"<br />
<br />
"Okay," said God "You asked for it."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.<br />
<br />
Life has now been explained to you.<br />
<br />
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm doing it as a public service. If you're looking for me, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'll be on the front porch.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Why do people say, "Grow some balls?" </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Balls are weak and vulnerable.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> If you want to toughen up, grow a vagina.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Those things can take a pounding. Trust me.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span>~~~~~</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-84133609168514228142011-08-22T07:56:00.001-05:002011-08-22T08:31:53.352-05:00Hey !! yeah it's me again<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Did you think I was lost ?</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Heck you didn't even miss me, didcha ??</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's okay, I been busy too.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> A lot has happened since April 13th.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ummm let's see. I got down so bad</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I couldn't hardly go anymore, went to a doctor,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> she put me on some pills and I'm doing lots better.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I had to go see her last thursday,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> just a check up thing on some blood work</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I'd donated the week before. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I worked the night before and heard </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">on the radio that sex 3 times a week </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">reduces a mans chance of heart disease</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> and stroke by 50%..... </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I thought that was great news and was</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> gonna ask Doc for a prescription of sex, 3 times a week.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> But I couldn't get the nerve up.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I know, hard for me to believe too</span>.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: large;">Lisa said I couldn't afford it and the </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">insurance isn't going to pay for it. I'm doomed.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Doc told me I was doing well and set me</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> up to come back in six months. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I was getting up to leave she said... </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I want to do a complete physical</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> next time, prostate exam and all".</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I looked in her eyes with confusion</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> and she said,,,"you're over due".</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I glanced down and looked at her hands,,,, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">she has small fingers, so maybe I'll do it</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">,,,,got 6 months to worry about it anyway. *shrugs*</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I been raising hell with upper management</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> where I work. Been under a lot of stress</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> (stress=wanting to choke the ever lovin shit outta somebody) </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">We do have something in common,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I don't like them and they don't like me. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And we're just not sure what to do with each other.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> I did lose 50lbs on the..."I can't fuckin stand you" diet.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">But life is good *little evil grin* </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">And speakin of grins......................let's do it.</span></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;">Daddy Long Legs</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: symbol;">·</span> <span style="font-size: small;">Stories about children and their views of the world are always touching.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir575iET704GrgP5EgYUdGzVWHVgnqOTVYm1rod6oFmLohrTsDVIIP-8dOB_WCv0Q5w8uUAWaiYUq6AvcvtYoyfP_kFGIc1vfRR9mZDcse57VAR0JJkBZurq3aES-ez5nNikywilGhW3lO/s1600/image001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir575iET704GrgP5EgYUdGzVWHVgnqOTVYm1rod6oFmLohrTsDVIIP-8dOB_WCv0Q5w8uUAWaiYUq6AvcvtYoyfP_kFGIc1vfRR9mZDcse57VAR0JJkBZurq3aES-ez5nNikywilGhW3lO/s320/image001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b>A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.</b> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: symbol;">·</span> <b>He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. </b></span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: symbol;">·</span> <b>Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders </b></span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>of nature through such innocent eyes.</b> </span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: symbol;">·</span> <b>Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.</b> </span> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: symbol;">·</span> <b>He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECL11kWeXfouZyXd6Ma0vXyWxij2UtyhoGlDcVD6kIDNOERQD0JGULsQ7Qq4f9RSsRMX1AvzcKpRPXG0siqxsfVYn8sgQW00r9IecSVRcfG5ZhRkATtzEuAAi5swKBOhMc38BhHGa7ST1/s1600/image002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECL11kWeXfouZyXd6Ma0vXyWxij2UtyhoGlDcVD6kIDNOERQD0JGULsQ7Qq4f9RSsRMX1AvzcKpRPXG0siqxsfVYn8sgQW00r9IecSVRcfG5ZhRkATtzEuAAi5swKBOhMc38BhHGa7ST1/s320/image002.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'They're mating,' her father replied.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, </span></b> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'</span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, </span></b> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">then lifted her foot and stomped them flat. </span></b> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">'Well", she said, "that may be okay in California ,</span></b> </div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">but we're not having any of that stuff in Oklahoma .."</span></b></div><div class="ecxyiv1111009128MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 13pt;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </span></b> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><pre><span style="font-size: large;">"If you lend someone $20, and never see</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> that person again</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> it was probably worth it."</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">If you go to bed 9 hours before you</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> have to wake up, and you wife
wants to have 2 hours of sex,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> how much sleep will you get?</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">V</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">V</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">V</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">V
8 hours, 57 minutes - who cares what she wants!</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein
participants were asked to tell the</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> younger generation how much
harder they had it "in the old days."</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> Winners, runners-up,
and honorable mentions are listed below.
Second Runner-Up:
In my day, we couldn't afford shoes,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> so we went barefoot. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">In winter, we had to wrap our feet</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> with barbed wire for traction.
First Runner-Up:
In my day, we didn't have MTV </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">or in-line skates,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> or any of that stuff. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">No, it was 45s and regular old</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> metal-wheeled roller skates, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">and the 45s always skipped, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">so to get them to play right
you'd weigh the needle down </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">with something like quarters,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> which we never had </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">because our allowances were way too small, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">so we'd use our skate keys instead and </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">end up forgetting they were taped
to the record player arm so that </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">we couldn't adjust our skates,
which didn't really matter</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> because those crummy metal wheels
would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">not like today.
And the winner:</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">In my day, we didn't have rocks. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">We had to go down to the creek
and wash our clothes by beating </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">them with our heads.
Honorable Mentions:
In my day, we didn't have fancy</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> health-food restaurants. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">Every day we ate lots of easily</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> recognizable animal parts, along with
potatoes.
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">We had to do addition on our fingers. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">To subtract, we had to have some fingers
amputated.
In my day, we didn't get that disembodied,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> slightly ticked-off voice saying </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors
closed, and if your hand was sticking out,</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> it scraped along the tunnel all the way</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> to the next station and it was a bloody stump
at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
In my day, we didn't have water.</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> We had to smash together our own
hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
Kids today think the world revolves around them.</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> In my day, the sun revolved around the world, </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">and the world was perched on the
back of a giant tortoise.
Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> a bunch of gray-haired,
liberal 80-year-old guys. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal
60-year-old guys.
In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">If a one-eyedrazorback barbarian warrior </span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;">was chasing you with an ax, you just
had to hope you could outrun him.
Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity.</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> We had to watch television by candlelight.
In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond.</span></pre><pre><span style="font-size: large;"> Oh, wait. Yes we did.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></pre></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have a great day =) </span></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-63748172923838350462011-04-13T02:17:00.000-05:002011-04-13T02:17:56.730-05:00It's Gonna Be Me.<div style="text-align: center;">Buy one,,,get one free !! That's an ad on tv from a local Men's store.<br />
(now I remember why I don't watch much tv) <br />
You know,,,suits,shirts,socks,ties,<br />
suspenders,hankies...the whole shebang.<br />
Buy one,,,get one free !!<br />
Doesn't that tell you anything ??<br />
<br />
It tells me they're charging too much for one item if they can afford to give me one if I buy one.<br />
<br />
Which sets my mind to racing to thoughts gone by...What do the people think who run out and buy the new cars when they first hit the dealerships,,,then 4 months later the dealers are selling the same car for thousands less ??<br />
<br />
I don't know about you,,but that would be something that'd piss me off. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Want to know what else pisses me off ???<br />
<br />
Government shutdowns,,,I say let's shut it down and send all the crooks home.<br />
Grandpa told me..."If you know a good man who's running for some kind of office...<br />
Don't vote for him,,,ya don't want to screw him up".<br />
<br />
Damn it ! I got to stop watching tv.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><pre>"Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause.
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with men."</pre><br />
<br />
<br />
Most heavily decorated soldier<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HQA8ewpvnE0" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
Psych 101<br />
<br />
If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.<br />
<br />
As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... All the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.<br />
<br />
Now, put the cold water away.<br />
<br />
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.<br />
<br />
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... With enthusiasm.<br />
<br />
Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.<br />
<br />
Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.<br />
<br />
Why, you ask? Because in their minds... That is the way it has always been!<br />
<br />
This is how Congress operates... And is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
The year is 2016 and the United States has just elected the first<br />
woman, a University of Oklahoma graduate, as President of the United<br />
States, Susan Sooner.<br />
<br />
A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and<br />
says, 'So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'<br />
<br />
'I don't think so. It's a 30 hour drive, your mother isn't as young as<br />
she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.'<br />
<br />
'Don't worry about it Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and<br />
take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.'<br />
<br />
'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother<br />
wear?'<br />
<br />
Oh Dad, replies Susan, 'I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown<br />
custom-made by the best designer in New York.<br />
<br />
'Honey,' Dad complains, 'you know I can't eat those rich foods you and<br />
your friends like to eat.'<br />
<br />
The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Dad. The entire affair is<br />
going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, I’ll ensure your<br />
meals are salt free Dad, I really want you to come.'<br />
<br />
So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Sooner is<br />
being sworn in as President of the United States.<br />
<br />
In the front row sits the new president's Dad and Mom. Dad noticing the<br />
senator sitting next to him leans over and whispers, 'You see that<br />
woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the<br />
United States.’<br />
<br />
The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'<br />
<br />
Dad says proudly, 'Her brother played football at OU.'<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LqbWq8J8CTA" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe></div><h1 id="watch-headline-title"><span class="long-title" dir="ltr" id="eow-title" title="It's Gonna Be Me - N Sync - With Lyrics and Free Download"><br />
</span></h1>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-55016760273705453672011-04-05T21:31:00.002-05:002011-04-05T21:33:31.664-05:00Hey, It's a good excuse !!<div style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;">A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLDER:</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQu38KaPHSaNKLOX_Rat35lLdhgmbhDF-foh5v0aAHpwxw86OgqgVjWScPsrn_GPgz3PSsdg2ME_uoGATT1uqyZULuARJkQMk6V-mfKdc8VMdCjr7RTJkXTMkSAjH0uF1QR8GWwTLJ-xb/s1600/dock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQu38KaPHSaNKLOX_Rat35lLdhgmbhDF-foh5v0aAHpwxw86OgqgVjWScPsrn_GPgz3PSsdg2ME_uoGATT1uqyZULuARJkQMk6V-mfKdc8VMdCjr7RTJkXTMkSAjH0uF1QR8GWwTLJ-xb/s400/dock.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: 24pt;">Shit, I forgot what it was....</span></span></span></span></div><div style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"></div><div style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="ecxyiv703720971apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: Lucida Console; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: geneva; font-size: 12pt;"><b>Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment~ Will Rogers</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-40535316965138021742011-04-04T22:40:00.001-05:002011-04-04T22:54:51.785-05:00It's All Good !<div style="text-align: center;">It's been a great day, heck it's been a great week.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Well except for that blowing the motor in the Toy... Oh well,,,hopefully better things to come on that.<br />
<br />
We spent the day at the lake with family and friends. It was a small gathering, but the conversation flowed and new friends were made of people who only knew each other by sight..(hey there's Ole what's his name ??) Or people who know the same people somehow.<br />
<br />
Working the way I have been has really put a damper on my social life, I tell ya.<br />
The kids grew up and I got old. (way too soon)<br />
<br />
We've all got a life and jobs with different schedules and it's difficult to get everybody rounded up at the same place at the same time.<br />
<br />
But sometimes we manage to squeeze out a couple of hours and escape the hustle and bustle of everything. Something we should really do more often.*Soon*<br />
<br />
So anyway,,tomorrow's the last day of vacation,,,I got a lot of stuff done and<br />
had time to relax and reflect on life.<br />
<br />
I know one thing,,I got to change my ways if I'm to keep my New Year's Resolution of...<br />
Becoming a lazy bum...it just isn't working out yet. And sadly,,,I really don't like Beer.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XtMy5IBmX7E" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that, in spite of two different 'specialties', they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.<br />
<br />
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: "Hysterias and Posteriors". The town council was livid and insisted they change it.<br />
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.<br />
"Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.<br />
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.<br />
Then came: "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.<br />
Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable yet again.<br />
So they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.<br />
"Nuts and Butts"??.....no way.<br />
"Freaks and Cheeks"??.....still no good.<br />
"Loons and Moons"?.....forget it.<br />
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:<br />
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones--"Odds and Ends"<br />
Everyone loved it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
So I go to sign in today and a little poop up from blogger appears,,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">says something about 5 Dynamic Views for Readers.....<br />
And I'm thinking "DYNAMIC views !!??"<br />
<br />
The word dynamic just does something to me. Sooo,,,I look it up to find out....why ?<br />
<br />
fabulism (OOOO, I loves that word too !!)<br />
vignette<br />
gadabout<br />
meiosis<br />
<br />
Results from <a href="http://dictionary.com/">Dictionary.com</a><br />
dy·nam·ic [dahy-nam-ik]–adjective Also, dy·nam·i·cal.<br />
1.pertaining to or characterized by energy or effective action; vigorously active </div><div style="text-align: center;">or forceful; energetic: the dynamic president of the firm.</div><div style="text-align: center;">2.Physics . a.of or pertaining to force or power.<br />
b.of or pertaining to force related to motion.<br />
3.blah<br />
4.blah<br />
5.blah.<br />
6.blah<br />
7.more blah<br />
<br />
I looked to see what's so <a href="http://www.google.com/support/blogger/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=1229061&ctx=go">"Dynamic"</a>.....<br />
What ?? No Fireworks ?? Where's the Beef?? </div><div style="text-align: center;">Okay,,I help ya out some.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.ug2bk.blogspot.com/view/flipcard%20">www.ug2bk.blogspot.com/view/flipcard </a> </div><div style="text-align: center;">When you get there you can change to the other views by clicking on the bluish button</div><div style="text-align: center;">that says "flipcard" and choose different views.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I know how this guy feels,,,I just don't have time to set around and make up a song about it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">*And like Duhhhh,,,Bad Language Alert*</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D2aUJF3gdog" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Butcha know what I think about it ??...*Oh it's safe !*</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Geg6_-3jPzI" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a great week, Hope to see ya soon !!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-73808602715910112011-03-30T23:01:00.002-05:002011-03-30T23:42:22.802-05:00Dang Straight....It's vacation time baby !!<div style="text-align: center;">Hey guess who........<br />
Oh dammit, come on,,play along. It's been a hectic start of some vacation.<br />
Entertain me !! <br />
<br />
First,, my sciatic nerve starts freaking out on my second night of work....<br />
Or so I hope that's the problem. But to get another injection in my back,<br />
I got to be referred to the nuerologist again.<br />
<br />
Annnnd to get referred by the so called specialist that referred me last time....<br />
I got to be referred by a primary doctor to see him even.<br />
Which, I really don't have a primary Dr.(so we're working on that)<br />
Can you say ObamaCare ???<br />
<br />
Do ya'll know that Doctors kill people ???<br />
Yep,,,I avoid them as much as possible.<br />
Untilllll... I don't really care if I live or die,,,fix me if you can, kind of deals.<br />
<br />
The Queen and I were invited to visit some friends in the Great state of Tennessee<br />
a couple weeks earlier and I said "I'll be there".<br />
<br />
Anybody who knows me...knows I try my best to keep my word on things like that.<br />
<br />
So we left out about 5am on our 9hour 15minute trip for Gainesboro TN.<br />
<br />
To visit some friends that had moved there from Illinois. <br />
<br />
It was hectic getting there,,,but we didn't arrive too late.<br />
It was cloudy about half way,,and raining the second half.<br />
Mother Nature is all freaked out, it was<br />
sunny and 80 degrees the weekend before<br />
this weekend it was 40 degrees, raining, almost sleeting...Absolutely beautiful !<br />
<br />
About 1/2 way between Memphis and Nashville just 10 miles south of I-40 is a little place called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lexington,_Tennessee">Lexington,TN.</a><br />
<br />
God decided I needed to slow down and meet some very nice people there.<br />
<br />
Around the 115 mile marker the car started making a funny noise and vibrating.<br />
At first I thought it was a tire,,<br />
And I started to get over in the right hand lane, but another car was a little close.<br />
I gave my signal and he backed off as I came across in front of him<br />
the engine made a kapliiinnnng noise,,<br />
then a kaplunka kaplunka,kaplunka noise, and began smoking vigorously.<br />
At 70mph I dropped a valve in the engine.<br />
<br />
Yeah,,that's not good...It kinda tries to lock the rear wheels up and throw ya in a slide.<br />
Of course, hitting the shoulder at 70 mph...Ehh,I don't reccomend that either.<br />
<br />
We kept everything under control and got off the road safely.<br />
<br />
And as we're setting there,,,kind of in the middle of nowhere,<br />
raining and gawsh there's alot of big rigs on the road !!<br />
<br />
Dialing 411,,trying to figure out who,what, where I am.<br />
<br />
I call my friends and let them know I'm going to be late.<br />
She starts to look on the internet for me to see if she can find me<br />
a tow service,,but before she has time.<br />
A wonderful Sheriff pulled up behind me with his lights flashing.<br />
<br />
I never been so freakin happy to see blue lights behind me in all my life !!<br />
It was raining and I had a hoodie, so I got<br />
out of my car slowly (like I can just bounce out with the sciatic thingy, huh)<br />
<br />
He called me a tow truck and told me I could set in my car. Wonderful Guy !<br />
<br />
When the tow truck arrived we got to meet another great guy, Mike.<br />
He loaded up the car,gave us a ride to where we could rent a car.<br />
When we got in the truck,I introduced Lisa and Mike drove to the next exit,<br />
then turned around and headed back west.<br />
<br />
It started out a quiet ride,,,I told Mike he'd have to excuse us,,,<br />
we was kind of speechless at the moment. He said he completely understood.<br />
<br />
A short time later,I asked if he knew anybody that hauled cars. I mean...<br />
What do ya do when that kind of thing happens ?? <br />
He offered to sell me a 16' trailer if I could find something to pull it.<br />
I wasn't going for that.<br />
Then he suggested renting a U-haul......<br />
I thought......"Wonderful Idea !!!"<br />
<br />
About that time we came upon a stoplight on steroids. It was a real eye catcher.<br />
I tried to find a image of one, and couldn't.<br />
It had like a white strobe light around the red.<br />
So just believe me when I say..<br />
"if you run that stoplight, you deserve to get T-Boned".<br />
Mike took a left when it turned green and I read the street sign... Church St.<br />
In my mind I was thinking..."cool, going to Church".<br />
<br />
A short distance down the road Mike pulled into <a href="http://www.helmsmotor.net/index.htm">Helms Motor Company</a> and we met an Angel named Candy. I told her my situation about needing a car and she told me...<br />
"Remarkably, She just had one returned and it's all she had,,it hasn't been fueled up or cleaned up..Do you want it anyway ?"<br />
<br />
Almost too good to be true...<br />
The lady knows how to take care of business. She had me fixed up and ready to go in no time at all. <br />
<br />
<br />
Mike stayed around during this time and<br />
unloaded my bags from the car<br />
Then he told me where my car would be stored for $30 a day until I figured out<br />
what I was going to do, and wished us a safe trip and we continued our journey.<br />
<br />
We was blessed with a detour thru small town America and we met some really nice people there.<br />
<br />
Some how...we arrived at our destination, just about the time I originally planned.<br />
Close enough, you could hardly tell the difference anyway. <br />
<br />
The rest of the trip was fantastic ! Everything just clicked after that.<br />
<br />
U-haul set me up the next morning. They'd have a truck and tow dolly waiting for me<br />
right there in Lexington where I had to return the car and pick mine up.<br />
<br />
When we went to pick up the car, I called Mike,,<br />
he told me he was in the middle of lunch at the store and that I would have to wait a little.<br />
I told him,, I'd just come upto the store and eat too. He said come on up !<br />
I went up to the store where he was and found Mike really in the middle of lunch.<br />
He was cooking !! for everybody who came in and ordered something.<br />
<br />
Mike made me a cheeseburger and some onion rings.<br />
Oh man... it was awesome for a quick lunch.<br />
<br />
He came out and set down as we finished our burgers and he was done cooking,<br />
and visited with one of the local officers.<br />
Who was a friendly young man too.<br />
<br />
As soon as we was done he was ready.<br />
Kind of glad he got to set down a spell.<br />
I could tell by their conversation.<br />
Mike's a very busy, hard working man.<br />
A volunteer firefighter, he drives the firetruck to some accidents.<br />
<br />
Which kind of puts him at a conflict of interest...<br />
If he drives the firetruck to the accident and helps people,<br />
he doesn't get paid and doesn't get the tow,<br />
which is how he makes a living.<br />
<br />
But...I can tell, Mike's one of those guys<br />
who's going to do what needs to be done.<br />
When it needs done.No matter what.<br />
One of the "Good Ol Boys"<br />
<br />
And me,,The next time I go to TN,<br />
I know this little store named <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=tow+service+in+lexington+tn&fb=1&gl=us&hq=tow+service&hnear=Lexington,+TN&cid=14350544682047460196">"Fishers"</a> about 30 miles out of my way,<br />
where I can get a good cheeseburger and onion rings.<br />
It's about 7 miles east of Lexington on HWY 412.<br />
The food is good, and the company and conversation can't be beat.<br />
<br />
<br />
We had a great time visiting our friends.<br />
Wish they lived a little closer and we could see each other a little more.<br />
<br />
But I guess if they did, I wouldn't of<br />
had the chance to meet some of the fine people I did on this trip.<br />
<br />
Our friends took us to a huge indoor flea market.<br />
Where some people actually work on their crafts.<br />
I was very intrigued by a coin cutter.<br />
*Brain Flash*..But you know how I am with money...<br />
I'm thinking maybe I'll use something a bit different and spend my coins instead.<br />
<br />
Most of the mornings were just cloudy and cool,<br />
but it rained every afternoon we was there,<br />
until we headed home.<br />
Which kind of put a damper on cooking out,and freaking out nature.<br />
But it was really cool just sittin around the livingroom visiting too.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, we'll get to do it again soon. <br />
<br />
<br />
Now all I got to do is recuperate and recover...Yeah ,,,that's what I'm thinkin.<br />
<br />
Anybody got a toyota 1.8 laying around in your way, you want to get rid of cheap ??<br />
Yeah you know me,,,I wouldn't mind something a little juiced up =)<br />
<br />
P.S. I'm starting a tribute blog, kind of a memorial page to the vets and hero's<br />
who are overlooked by our so called media.<br />
<br />
If you know somebody who should be recognized,<br />
drop me a comment with a link, or send me <br />
an email with "memorial" in the subject line to edgyone58@hotmail.com<br />
<br />
How sad that our veterans are still over looked and taken for granted.<br />
May <a href="http://overlookedheros.blogspot.com/">Shifty and all our American heros past and living</a> be remembered in our daily freedoms,<br />
which we take for granted.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Tuesday's Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side :<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
1- Calif's 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit<br />
<br />
2- The Calif Supreme Court ruling that ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits.<br />
<br />
Why don't they just deport them when they arrive to register?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Tax payers from Illegals<br />
using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care -<br />
<br />
At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25 million a year<br />
<br />
Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!<br />
<br />
We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,??<br />
WTF ??? <br />
<br />
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey . And<br />
now Pakistan .....home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!<br />
<br />
Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they<br />
get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour<br />
Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
They call Social Security and Medicare a entitlement even though most of us<br />
have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us<br />
to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government<br />
borrow from it in the first place?<br />
<br />
We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for<br />
the adoption of foreign orphans.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children going<br />
to bed hungry, elderly going without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc.<br />
<br />
<br />
YET.....................<br />
<br />
They have a 'Benefit' for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and<br />
planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and<br />
medical supplies.<br />
<br />
Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other<br />
countries.<br />
<br />
Sad isn't it?<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's <a href="http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/">something for ya.</a> very educational<br />
<br />
Sadly,,,this <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_J._Pershing">sounds like my kind of guy</a>. Sometimes you got to fight extremism,,with extremism.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSaxofgLNoJfVrZ1fBoC13WZ-gg7mXPU54i4NI3JDgq67GLvPzAkWrdTu0j5jfkFOwtI75z8DKhR6DXHTjxECtWI84tD4hJDUZQUkzBReegwB2tG17CxOwYeMMEcwK5UxDY1dcwV-8M7jf/s1600/pershing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="601" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSaxofgLNoJfVrZ1fBoC13WZ-gg7mXPU54i4NI3JDgq67GLvPzAkWrdTu0j5jfkFOwtI75z8DKhR6DXHTjxECtWI84tD4hJDUZQUkzBReegwB2tG17CxOwYeMMEcwK5UxDY1dcwV-8M7jf/s640/pershing.jpg" width="640" /></a></div></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-46947313615686916822011-03-20T22:57:00.000-05:002011-03-20T22:57:51.588-05:00Life,,,,,get out and live it<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Yeah,,,I know,,,it's been awhile,,,but I been hooooooked up !!<br />
But vacation is just around the corner !<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JzriEXPJ1-k" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE:<br />
<br />
Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog who mauled:<br />
3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall,<br />
6 illegal's wearing Obama t-shirts,<br />
4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts,<br />
2 rappers,<br />
5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English,<br />
9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks,<br />
8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English,<br />
10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.<br />
FOR THE LAST TIME.......<br />
THE DAMN DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!!"<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRyyTyC0NIf5RwM6uSta1Tfy6xFbwyyXXJDn2c4p4D42WUPnea0lRFaUEEAPnhz1mmpylNMJD-jkvaGPb5VSqnFb8bKD8klwjeJnaRmTBdNxfjLxdxLrzmgOgT2kvpq1ooZw6W9xL8aWWU/s1600/damndog.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRyyTyC0NIf5RwM6uSta1Tfy6xFbwyyXXJDn2c4p4D42WUPnea0lRFaUEEAPnhz1mmpylNMJD-jkvaGPb5VSqnFb8bKD8klwjeJnaRmTBdNxfjLxdxLrzmgOgT2kvpq1ooZw6W9xL8aWWU/s320/damndog.JPG" width="307" /></a></div><br />
Foul Language Alert (you knew you couldn't escape it)<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2N-UFoIraHY" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Man It's getting rough,,,how much more can we take ?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgco7ZPG64i7r5oZC13f9UktTbVFTmWhE1h-EkKw3s8Oscmw1EpZ3SQk4VC0EY5LWttVlP2AF4PjVcKn32KaqhjLUOCa-wwpk_5mJBBNvSRxIfpqSe96v-hOH0WpAjZE4EeiEViRqvvP6I6/s1600/gas.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgco7ZPG64i7r5oZC13f9UktTbVFTmWhE1h-EkKw3s8Oscmw1EpZ3SQk4VC0EY5LWttVlP2AF4PjVcKn32KaqhjLUOCa-wwpk_5mJBBNvSRxIfpqSe96v-hOH0WpAjZE4EeiEViRqvvP6I6/s320/gas.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
I walked up to a guy at work and looked up at him and looked him right in the eye,,and <br />
asked him..."Are you on some kind of happy pill ?" <br />
<br />
He didn't break my stare and said ....."NO!"<br />
I asked him again..."No kind of happy pill like prozac or something ?"<br />
And he boldly looked down at me into my eyes and said ...."No"<br />
I said "Oh" ....He asked...."Why ???<br />
I said ,,,,,uhhh,,I was gonna ask if ya had an extra.<br />
<br />
<br />
The Queen and I got out and met up with my sister and her hubby<br />
(coolest brother-inlaw in the world) at <a href="http://cheddars./">Cheddars.</a><br />
<br />
<br />
This is not good at all.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/EDx5FVHg8jo" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe> <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
QUOTE OF THE CENTURY........MAYBE EVEN THE MILLENNIUM <br />
<br />
<br />
Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way that you can quickly <br />
understand them. This quote came from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it <br />
figured out. It was translated into English from an article in the Prague newspaper <br />
Prager Zeitungon on 04.28.2010. <br />
<br />
<br />
"The danger to America is not Barack Obama,but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man <br />
like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of <br />
an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to <br />
a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.<br />
<br />
The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr.Obama,<br />
who is a mere symptom of what ails America ..<br />
Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to<br />
the vast confederacy of fools that made him theirprince. <br />
<br />
The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. <br />
It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president." <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
How do you starve an Obama supporter?? <br />
<br />
Hide their food stamps under their work shoes.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />
<br />
<br />
Think Outside Your Box<br />
<br />
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You<br />
pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:<br />
<br />
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.<br />
2. An old friend who once saved your life.<br />
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.<br />
<br />
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there<br />
could only be one passenger in your car. Think before you<br />
continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once<br />
actually used as part of a job application.<br />
<br />
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and<br />
thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend<br />
because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect<br />
chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find<br />
your perfect dream lover again.<br />
<br />
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no<br />
trouble coming up with his answer.<br />
<br />
THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN. THINK THINK THINK<br />
<br />
WHAT DID HE SAY?<br />
<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
<br />
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend,<br />
and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind<br />
and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."<br />
<br />
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn<br />
thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."<br />
<br />
Personally, I would have run the old lady over and put her out of<br />
her misery, shagged the perfect woman against the bus stop and<br />
drove off with my old friend.<br />
<br />
Our Tax Dollars at Work<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QP3IpOAK6k2ucIoIAZRjbAX7FCDu-9VnZohbJXtTYSvgGjN812FrDMFplpgGjoiwFkT9lCK60ETAx0c_DhpiC8d9P7VE0lIQ0sAPF7QfCaVI9AzOXmEBZz5XVhkbFm_AeGdwfJkE41Xr/s1600/REPS.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QP3IpOAK6k2ucIoIAZRjbAX7FCDu-9VnZohbJXtTYSvgGjN812FrDMFplpgGjoiwFkT9lCK60ETAx0c_DhpiC8d9P7VE0lIQ0sAPF7QfCaVI9AzOXmEBZz5XVhkbFm_AeGdwfJkE41Xr/s640/REPS.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
House Minority Leader Lawrence F. Cafero Jr., R-Norwalk, pictured standing, far right, speaks while colleagues Rep. Barbara Lambert, D-Milford and Rep. Jack F. Hennessy, D-Bridgeport, play solitaire Monday night as the House convened to vote on a new budget. (AP)<br />
<br />
The guy sitting in the row in front of these two....he's on Facebook,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and the guy behind Hennessy is checking out the baseball scores. <br />
<br />
These are the folks that couldn't get the budget out by Oct. 1, and are about to control </div><div style="text-align: center;">your health care, cap and trade, and the list goes on and on…. <br />
Should we buy them larger screen computers - or - a ticket home, permanently?<br />
This is one of their 3-DAY WORK WEEKS that we all pay for (salary is about $179,000 per year).<br />
<br />
Ummmm Yeah,,,how much more can we take ??? </div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-28285851721733915732011-03-08T20:53:00.002-06:002011-03-09T03:58:26.954-06:00Women<div style="text-align: center;">Women are funny.....<br />
I don't know about you, but I'm a guy. Or last time I checked,,I was.<br />
And everybody knows, Guys like looking at girls,,,hell, even girls know guys like looking at em.</div><div style="text-align: center;">But you know what guys ?<br />
It's the girls get gussied up for the other guys, that make us all winners.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Why you think they spend so much money on makeup,fake eyelashes,fake hair, fake tans,fake boobs.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not for OooomWa's it's for the other guys they may run into.<br />
Dammit, they're just a bunch of fakes.<br />
<br />
But think about it for just a minute,,after you've been around a woman awhile and you've seen her at her worse,,, sick,tired,no sleep from taking care of the baby and such, she starts feeling relaxed.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She starts answering the door in curlers and a robe.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrXdTcE_I0VIuVlx6D_IRLXZW41akuXWeJ4dsGopC0mRuS4ej9bkdVt8vE-qudEbTl2KjwySTI7LCqwYBJD0gFs21VpHbnk-XrDz75Fq7WSOX_PlYj1FOhL8GlfzMhTKivFsRmmWruJACM/s1600/woman-in-curlers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrXdTcE_I0VIuVlx6D_IRLXZW41akuXWeJ4dsGopC0mRuS4ej9bkdVt8vE-qudEbTl2KjwySTI7LCqwYBJD0gFs21VpHbnk-XrDz75Fq7WSOX_PlYj1FOhL8GlfzMhTKivFsRmmWruJACM/s320/woman-in-curlers.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">And then it happens........ she becomes...faceless.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF-pnpGOr-O5tj20fotkwnvCCeVsEAxEnOGhXM1ObI8wSqKoV9LfAgfulJVeRZMmmeBKNUgK_OEpfhT6uo4d4eG_PsEYJCye72sC-Go37_UHPJjcjMstOtdkNCofvCcMAgKDzwbPF6xPwV/s1600/Woman_Dress_Faceless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF-pnpGOr-O5tj20fotkwnvCCeVsEAxEnOGhXM1ObI8wSqKoV9LfAgfulJVeRZMmmeBKNUgK_OEpfhT6uo4d4eG_PsEYJCye72sC-Go37_UHPJjcjMstOtdkNCofvCcMAgKDzwbPF6xPwV/s320/Woman_Dress_Faceless.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
When I say..."Hey Honey,,,let's go out to eat"...and she says "hold on,,I got to put my face on"....??? </div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm like WTF???? When did it fall off ???? Does it hurt when it falls off ?? </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
And wtf's the deal anyway,,,I look at you for 3 days and you don't put your pretty face on...but we go to town and whoooaa,,you gotta put your face on for people who are only going to see you half an hour,,,oh and you spray that stuff on that makes you smell pretty and drives me wild... if you don't over spray,,,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but it wasn't for me. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Hold it,,,I'm sorry,,,I just came to the earth moving realization,,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">that the other girls are doing it for me.<br />
And I wouldn't want to disappoint them,,,after they spent all that money and time. <br />
<br />
Tell me this girl doesn't want me to look at her.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She's practically begging me to look at her.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3d0QaekLXTWwOO2U6Ct4AeZ5BI_417Xf8Q5dn_5uPqDqpj6AkZQ7XZ8a7FuXA_LhVuBysjlP_5XVUf_4msChbAb1RNdGTZ4NhaqrbhCTgR3Bo4KgU7IDg7V09EJ0l5w5k41bWSSMZGCX7/s1600/hooters1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3d0QaekLXTWwOO2U6Ct4AeZ5BI_417Xf8Q5dn_5uPqDqpj6AkZQ7XZ8a7FuXA_LhVuBysjlP_5XVUf_4msChbAb1RNdGTZ4NhaqrbhCTgR3Bo4KgU7IDg7V09EJ0l5w5k41bWSSMZGCX7/s320/hooters1.jpg" width="248" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
And I like the way "Angry White Dude" thinks..<a href="http://angrywhitedude.com/?p=5676">.absolutely brilliant idea !!</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Ernie,I don't give a shit what they say </div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.">,,,still makes me feel better ;)</a><br />
<br />
But I tell you what guys,,,you might want to keep your trap shut about this earth shattering news.</div><div style="text-align: center;">And not discuss this blog,,,,,just take her more places and she'll always have her face on.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gxGCB6bw40U" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I don't get out much. I hardly know my neighbors. Seems like I mostly sleep and work. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But I still like to check every now and then,just to see,, what's going on around me.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Put your zip code in the box and you may be surprised. <a href="http://www.criminalcheck.com/index.html">Who Knows ?</a><br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_-agl0pOQfs" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee Outside an Arizona immigration office.<br />
<br />
"Good man," the fairy said, "I've been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."<br />
<br />
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don't have the good Teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."<br />
<br />
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING !-- he<br />
Had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!<br />
<br />
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."<br />
<br />
The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three Car garage in Phoenix on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here" --- and -- PING !-- in the distance there could Be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the water.<br />
<br />
"One more wish", said the fairy, waving her wand.<br />
<br />
"Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American Clothes</div><div style="text-align: center;">instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of<br />
This sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" ---and --- PING ! -- The man was transformed - wearing worn out jeans, a Diamond-Backs T-shirt and a baseball cap. <br />
<br />
He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> "What happened to my new teeth?" He wailed, "Where is my new house?"<br />
<br />
THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . .<br />
<br />
NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD . . .. . . <br />
<br />
.<br />
<br />
The fairy said:<br />
"Tough s***, Amigo, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself." So go get a job, pay taxes, pay for your medical, pay for your housing and food and see most of your money being spent on illegals.<br />
<br />
Yeahhh,, suck it up cupcake !! You're an American now !!</div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </div><div style="text-align: center;">I hope you have a great week and let your Spirit soar.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1OfsZyYPLoI" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-36322261988271707992011-03-06T11:08:00.001-06:002011-03-07T16:48:34.595-06:00feels good to be me<div style="text-align: center;">Okay,,,educational time,,,Hey, just doing what I can to help the homeschoolers.....<br />
<br />
Do you know why women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning ???<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jwhHmDy-t1Y" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
<br />
It's because they have no balls =)<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm not a very religous man, I do believe in some kind of God,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">or I must. I sure talk to him alot. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I think because he doesn't point and laugh.<br />
<br />
Fate ? Coincedences ? Opportunites ? Decisions ?<br />
<br />
Is it a coincedent fate sends you an opportunity to make a ... decision ?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4Z5qsgQyksub0z2QMUp8hdDbwOEamC8pOxZSfeb3eQX4k_jIgRxM3mJYPtMM7dpJMnhTDfzZYgpPawQ5tTY8CAp8DjD-hxvUttQdofDhckW-fr7Xtf9uhAe6vrir9WZKTq7NSGtSZ-PI/s1600/cat+eyes.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="161" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4Z5qsgQyksub0z2QMUp8hdDbwOEamC8pOxZSfeb3eQX4k_jIgRxM3mJYPtMM7dpJMnhTDfzZYgpPawQ5tTY8CAp8DjD-hxvUttQdofDhckW-fr7Xtf9uhAe6vrir9WZKTq7NSGtSZ-PI/s400/cat+eyes.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
So shit or get off the pot.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Theories<br />
=========<br />
<br />
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers<br />
exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will<br />
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more<br />
bizarre and inexplicable.<br />
<br />
There is another theory which states that this has already<br />
happened.<br />
<br />
from The Mountain:<br />
Don't ponder too much on the above quote.<br />
It's a joke<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/i00GDT9FuFM" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uj9hp1lS9Wc" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
<br />
</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-45596258311070209582011-03-01T16:33:00.000-06:002011-03-01T16:33:28.138-06:00Hey, somebody get that mule out of the briar patch =)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">WHOA WHOA WHOAAAAAA !! STOP !!!!<br />
Have a seat,,,,relax,,,take a deep breath.<br />
Seriously,,,I'm waiting...............<br />
............<br />
.......<br />
<br />
Okay,,exhale....empty your lungs,,,and empty your mind of chores,duties and errands.<br />
<br />
Relax for 5 minutes....I know in today's busy world, most of us forget... to relax.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Ehh,,,let's just let Kid Rock and Uncle Kracker do the yappin. I'm relaxin.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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The finger monkey is the tiniest living primate in the world. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It’s so small that it can hold on to your finger.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiswU87xs3ceDl1at7XnLrUBlBaGm0L7nMplDPXfbX13rPAcS7H1hlDOXp2bbRVQ9Tq_Gw5XxRO3eeiXjM5S8YYXALhffYdiBAd7-ttKwQpiNw2WoPJUZg4WX5Sk1tlb-BLRha-eSKMseLY/s1600/finger_monkeys_08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiswU87xs3ceDl1at7XnLrUBlBaGm0L7nMplDPXfbX13rPAcS7H1hlDOXp2bbRVQ9Tq_Gw5XxRO3eeiXjM5S8YYXALhffYdiBAd7-ttKwQpiNw2WoPJUZg4WX5Sk1tlb-BLRha-eSKMseLY/s320/finger_monkeys_08.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">This cute little primate hugs and grips on to your finger so tight that it</div><div style="text-align: center;"> pulls your heartstrings and you wish you could take it home with you. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Finger monkeys are, as a matter of fact, pygmy marmosets. </div><div style="text-align: center;">They are also known by the names ‘pocket monkey’ and ‘tiny lion’</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG9AoTDTOBGgPub0ymvfX_z0FLLaJ-F9R08031JcNjabepEjPp7OVDn3W_y2MkbeoWUb4A3t44Ob66oljp1slEG4Obls8F40YFzny-ymLD7pUC37RDfKGHq2iIf7Dr2T93FKJ1aDH5F7gG/s1600/finger_monkeys_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG9AoTDTOBGgPub0ymvfX_z0FLLaJ-F9R08031JcNjabepEjPp7OVDn3W_y2MkbeoWUb4A3t44Ob66oljp1slEG4Obls8F40YFzny-ymLD7pUC37RDfKGHq2iIf7Dr2T93FKJ1aDH5F7gG/s320/finger_monkeys_01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">. </div><div style="text-align: center;">These primates belong to the family Callitrichidae, species Cebuella and genus C. Pygmaea. </div><div style="text-align: center;">They are native to rain-forests of Brazil, Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador and Colombia. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a great week !!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.fieldandstream.com/photos/galler%20%20y/hunting/deer-hunting/2010/12/triple-trage%20%20dy-three-bucks-drown-antlers-locked">Sad how things work out in nature.</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-32059833288563196712011-02-25T23:55:00.000-06:002011-02-25T23:55:30.654-06:00Can't Remember the Title<div style="text-align: center;">Hey there,,I hope you're doing well.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I know life is getting a little rough when you wind up here. </div><div style="text-align: center;">You've already done everything on the internet and this is the last stop. <br />
Bored out of your socks aintcha ?<br />
<br />
It's been a good week,,, </div><div style="text-align: center;">Heck, they're all good weeks if you're walking,talking and wiping your own drool. (in my book)<br />
Believe me I know from experience.<br />
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<br />
I don't know how your mind works,,,but OoomWa's is screwed.<br />
I'll be walking along,alone,thinking about all the bullshit going on in the </div><div style="text-align: center;">world, in the U.S.,, in the state,county, my town and our neighborhood and</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I come up with an idea that would solve everybodies problem.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Then it happens,,,"OOOO something shiny !!" and my idea disappears.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I'm sorry about that :/</div><div style="text-align: center;">Dammit,,we was this close -<br />
<br />
But anyways,,, sometimes I set here and my mind races with thoughts and questions.<br />
Then, I'm just blank, I really have nothing to talk about. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh sure,,I could talk about the news,,,naaa,,,we're here because we're tired of the news,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">(it's a real downer)<br />
<br />
So tell me,,,,what are you looking for ???<br />
In my mind,,,the perfect place has something for everybody,,,and is user friendly.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Do you want Porn ? Well,,,I don't post porn. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Maybe some cleavage or a bikini clad babe, Oh Yeah</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbNnicNpuqc5Vfy8P9p7D4oW0bm9ONWdZW4fRTnD3IxIs_-UWUDo7meG-QPpVbXtH9ndFjwbC4qjY0I9AJtMuWt7Ckz680JWq8f_j7WI_PJ1L-tSLAr8ADj9mYqPWK0oPMnH_TFlNobi8_/s1600/bikini+babe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbNnicNpuqc5Vfy8P9p7D4oW0bm9ONWdZW4fRTnD3IxIs_-UWUDo7meG-QPpVbXtH9ndFjwbC4qjY0I9AJtMuWt7Ckz680JWq8f_j7WI_PJ1L-tSLAr8ADj9mYqPWK0oPMnH_TFlNobi8_/s400/bikini+babe.jpg" width="276" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> And who knows maybe even a hot guy for you ladies.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> But that's about it from me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTwCafP-FuahaW1DgPXQK0NCl1LE4UL2yGYq2bHkKbB8dUX6YzkVo-ovVPQrzLnwipgsvK7GwB5eKR7BZe6a7YiaKxdKKOIVpuKwy_AXCtmeNmKzKmn3vTh52arz26EZ-O3XH0zIXjK40v/s1600/mg_GeorgeTheTimelessArtOfS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTwCafP-FuahaW1DgPXQK0NCl1LE4UL2yGYq2bHkKbB8dUX6YzkVo-ovVPQrzLnwipgsvK7GwB5eKR7BZe6a7YiaKxdKKOIVpuKwy_AXCtmeNmKzKmn3vTh52arz26EZ-O3XH0zIXjK40v/s400/mg_GeorgeTheTimelessArtOfS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">HeHeHe !! Okay,,Okay,,I hear ya grumblin,,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Keep your shirt on !!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Or better yet, take it off !! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Bn7_ww6cQhsfrrV9oAmZjTktsEvFkxIssRNacd_XLUseczf2wIcKOh_O0nd4C5OCIQGu0xzCYDg5roW7vz_01f-kVI9CaiX0eQ_JZzoPWXmGVGlHa1D_D90-By20B5DOq5MRdWbqdsSq/s1600/hot_guy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Bn7_ww6cQhsfrrV9oAmZjTktsEvFkxIssRNacd_XLUseczf2wIcKOh_O0nd4C5OCIQGu0xzCYDg5roW7vz_01f-kVI9CaiX0eQ_JZzoPWXmGVGlHa1D_D90-By20B5DOq5MRdWbqdsSq/s400/hot_guy.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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However,, over there on the right side of the page,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> in the box labeled "cool places"is a couple links for ya.</div><div style="text-align: center;">They're not actually porn sites, but it's available if you want it. </div><div style="text-align: center;">You're Welcome.<br />
<br />
Ernie's has a variety of things,maybe a ramble,cool games,boobs,</div><div style="text-align: center;">reviews on autos and guns,tributes to soldiers...etc.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He also raises money and frequent flier miles to send </div><div style="text-align: center;">young service men and women home for the holidays</div><div style="text-align: center;">.(Good guy in my book)</div><div style="text-align: center;">He's very popular and has a bunch of links for what your har,,, ummm heart desires.<br />
Ernie's is a one man show,,,and he does a great job. </div><div style="text-align: center;">(Like I said,,a little something for everybody)</div><div style="text-align: center;"> The little links outlined in green are safe,,,the ones in red are nnnnasty,,,just so you know<br />
<br />
Morty's is whole different story.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> It's a community of people from all over the world, intertwined into a twisted world, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and anybody who joins can start threads and share links,stories and info.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> So there's a veryyy wiiiide variety of things there,,,,jokes,games,laughs,and yes,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">even useless porn. The nnnnasty links are identified by a (NSFW).<br />
Be sure to check the comments for most of the humor while you're there.<br />
<br />
<br />
Music ? well if you're not into stealing,<br />
go join Amazon.com, you'll be glad you did, they'll give ya free mp3's<br />
I'm not too sure what kind of deal they have, but I like it. </div><div style="text-align: center;">And not only that,they also have some "good deals on a lot of other stuff".<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">itunes is cool too,,but I like the amazon more.<br />
<br />
So tell me,,,what else do we need ??<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Games !!! I removed the old addicting game link(it was lame) and posted a couple new links in the Games box, I prefer albinoblacksheep myself,, but hey ,that's me.<br />
<br />
And just to get your fingers limbered up<br />
Here's a game I like,,nice and simple,,it just takes the right and left arrow keys and the space bar. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh,,,you can even run on the walls too. Just so ya know.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/run">It's time to run.</a> </div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a great weekend,,,Share some links, put em in the comment box,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Be safe out there,,spring and summer is just around the corner</div><div style="text-align: center;"> and we don't want to miss that </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-61834323837307967202011-02-23T20:14:00.003-06:002011-02-23T21:47:42.327-06:00It was a long week<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj98dScS7bdX6XHB5xrSeWxRneNsw-PWPzbWfsKM0ayr5LW240MchWxMi6hGc6Z82qWupPGbywUj07e9QEYANynuveW1Tm58uF5-rmuu8t94V7cMYd71QnGVmtnBlV-n9kHBjUdy9YzTKG8/s1600/iwojima.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj98dScS7bdX6XHB5xrSeWxRneNsw-PWPzbWfsKM0ayr5LW240MchWxMi6hGc6Z82qWupPGbywUj07e9QEYANynuveW1Tm58uF5-rmuu8t94V7cMYd71QnGVmtnBlV-n9kHBjUdy9YzTKG8/s1600/iwojima.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Sometimes I feel like I need to wash my eyeballs after visiting some websites.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Hell I feel like that after I go to Walmart sometimes"<br />
And there's those times you know,,,all the scrubbing in the world isn't </div><div style="text-align: center;">going to erase the images or the words burned into your retina or soul.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
If it says "do not click here" or "warning: graphic image",NSFW(not safe for work).<br />
You can bet your ass,,,it's going to be just that. <br />
But what is it ? Why does the human mind want to click on the 'Do Not Click Here'</div><div style="text-align: center;"><u><b>I Double Dog Dare Ya.</b></u><br />
<br />
<embed height="350" src="http://www.toysforyourblog.com/games/bigred/bigred.swf" width="350"></embed><embed></embed><br />
<a href="http://www.toysforyourblog.com/games/bigred/">Put The Big Red Button on your site</a><br />
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Yeah,,,dammmmiiit !! Didcha learn anything there ??<br />
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I tell ya,,,fits hittin the shan over on the other side of the world.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">It's rough being a dictator these days</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJyokUlrnOpDii0YAZc9AdyYYOeiMsJIPKYi8qyhoKwPhuVmeWOhANek_87AKEcDOHhrBEUQGbCmSHmHgA-ie7Untqa_T9gvyV_DeNVMYuVu0IuRICfkB7rQXuW0YFf1CmHPwFe9re1kL/s1600/gun_control_works_dictators.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJyokUlrnOpDii0YAZc9AdyYYOeiMsJIPKYi8qyhoKwPhuVmeWOhANek_87AKEcDOHhrBEUQGbCmSHmHgA-ie7Untqa_T9gvyV_DeNVMYuVu0IuRICfkB7rQXuW0YFf1CmHPwFe9re1kL/s320/gun_control_works_dictators.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<b><u>Honesty is still the best policy</u></b><br />
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A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time</div><div style="text-align: center;">to choose a successor to take over the business.<br />
<br />
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, </div><div style="text-align: center;">he decided to do something different. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He called all the young executives in his company together.<br />
<br />
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I have decided to choose one of you.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">The young executives were Shocked, but the boss continued.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED".</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today</div><div style="text-align: center;">with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.<br />
I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."<br />
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One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. <br />
<br />
He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story.</div><div style="text-align: center;">She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. <br />
<br />
Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.</div><div style="text-align: center;">After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds </div><div style="text-align: center;">and the plants that were beginning to grow.<br />
<br />
Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.<br />
<br />
Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.<br />
<br />
By now, others were talking about their plants, </div><div style="text-align: center;">but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.<br />
<br />
Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He just knew he had killed his seed.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however,</div><div style="text-align: center;">he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil <br />
<br />
- He so wanted the seed to grow.<br />
<br />
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company </div><div style="text-align: center;">brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.<br />
<br />
Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But she asked him to be honest about what happened.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim felt sick to his stomach, </div><div style="text-align: center;">it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life,</div><div style="text-align: center;">but he knew his wife was right.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He took his empty pot to the board room.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed,</div><div style="text-align: center;">a few felt sorry for him!<br />
<br />
When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.<br />
Jim just tried to hide in the back. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">"My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"<br />
<br />
All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"<br />
<br />
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed </div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim told him the story.<br />
<br />
The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives,</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.<br />
<br />
"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.<br />
<br />
Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.<br />
All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"</div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Remember this while you garden your way thru life......<br />
<br />
* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust<br />
<br />
* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends<br />
<br />
* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness<br />
<br />
* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment<br />
<br />
* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective<br />
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* If you plant hard work, you will reap success<br />
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* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation<br />
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So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.<br />
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<br />
Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?<br />
<br />
They blink together,<br />
they move together,<br />
they cry together,<br />
they see things together,<br />
and they sleep together,<br />
but they never see each other;<br />
....that's what friendship is..<br />
Your aspiration is your motivation,<br />
your motivation is your belief,<br />
your belief is your peace,<br />
your peace is your target,<br />
your target is heaven,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and life is like hard core torture without it!<br />
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<br />
<br />
Save the Earth.... it's the only planet with chocolate!!!!<br />
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A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.<br />
<br />
While they were there the mother-in-law passed away.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, </div><div style="text-align: center;"> or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."<br />
<br />
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.<br />
<br />
The undertaker asked, "Why?" Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, </div><div style="text-align: center;">when it would be wonderful to spend only $150.00?"<br />
<br />
The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here and </div><div style="text-align: center;">three days later he rose from the dead.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I just can' t take that chance."<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's been awhile,,,let's check in on Jodi</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-qRxknb996E" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
<br />
Oh I really like this</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.automotto.org/entry/honda-3r-c-c%20%20oncept-to-provide-zero-emission-commuting/"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRawoLVSoLGJcfoEFOtMK6Do1JCXv_khRUPlGoKocLSEHmY2I6iXKplF3MbwZyN7Fmx8k91Kn1j711NrusX3jstM4JZDn3euYWxiV_fZex8vbrv738soNFhW6G-s0Bbywzfe9I8qrlE6dd/s320/honda-3r-c-concept_WtPKd_3868.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Click on the picture to see some other futuristic autos<br />
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I don't care what you say,,,they just don't make men like they used to.<br />
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<a href="http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?p=738245#post738245">R.I.P. Sargeant Atkins</a></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-45452235913797448062011-02-18T17:31:00.000-06:002011-02-18T17:31:03.051-06:00You Gotta be Shittin Me !!<div style="text-align: center;">Are you a bloghopper ? I mean do you ever click on the "next blog" button, to see where it takes you ?? </div><div style="text-align: center;">You should try it sometimes. But NOT YET !!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Read mine first,,, then start hoppin,,,who knows,,,you may find somebody you admire.<br />
<br />
Most of you would never think that I almost named this blog,</div><div style="text-align: center;">"You Gotta Be Shittin Me !"</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">"No Kidding !!"<br />
<br />
<br />
Some history buffs probably already know this forgotten fact.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I didn't know until I got this info in a email from Cousin Donna.<br />
So I know it's true !!<br />
<br />
<br />
Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase 'You Gotta Be Shittin Me'?<br />
<br />
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our Country, </div><div style="text-align: center;">way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.<br />
<br />
There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat. It was<br />
extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.<br />
<br />
Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and<br />
stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern </div><div style="text-align: center;">back and forth, back and forth.<br />
<br />
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and<br />
his lantern into the Delaware . Washington and his troops searched for<br />
nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. </div><div style="text-align: center;">All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.<br />
<br />
Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side,wet and totally exhausted .</div><div style="text-align: center;"> He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.<br />
<br />
Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lightsahead.' </div><div style="text-align: center;">They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.<br />
What they didn't know was that this was a house of Ill Repute,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> hidden in the forest to serve all who came.<br />
<br />
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.<br />
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.<br />
A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.<br />
<br />
Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General GeorgeWashington and these are my men.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> We are tired , wet, exhausted and desperately need warmth and comfort.'<br />
<br />
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a<br />
broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place. </div><div style="text-align: center;">We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'<br />
<br />
Washington replied , 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters, and the Madam said,</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> 'You gotta be shittin me.'<br />
<br />
<br />
ManOMan,,, It's almost as if spring is here,,,but I know better. See that weather underground icon on the right side of my page ? It gives the local temp here and the wrong damn time. (it's an hour behind me for some reason today.(Stupid)<br />
But you can click on that, it'll take you to the local page for here, type your city or zipcode in the search bar on that page and it'll give you your local weather and some of the news. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I think you'll like it,,,save it in your favs ;o)<br />
<br />
Man it has been beautiful outside,,,it's almost time to drag the spyder out and clean her up,,,then go have some fun. I'm ready to feel the wind in my hair,,,and across the top of my bald head.<br />
At least in this part of the world,,I can still afford a little fun,,,,but dang !! I wouldn't want to be caught speeding in other parts of the world...<a href="http://autos.aol.com/article/highest-speeding-fines/">Speeding Fines</a><br />
<br />
<br />
I think when the nice officer asks,, "Sir,why are you speeding ??"</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm going to tell him/her/it,,,<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110217/sc_afp/usastronomytelecomnasachina_20110217095946">"I'm trying to out run the solar flares"</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
There's a <a href="http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/">whole lot of shaking</a> going on.<br />
<br />
<br />
Faith is not about everything turning out OK; </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out.<br />
<br />
Have a great weekend !!</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-4080426001620514652011-02-17T08:54:00.000-06:002011-02-17T08:54:38.178-06:00Make up your own title<div style="text-align: center;"><u><b>5 More Nights</b></u><br />
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Here's a neat little trick,,,and I bet it <a href="http://www.familyhack.com/2007/08/29/drain-tip/">does more than just drains.</a><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I wish this for you.....someday.. years and years from now...or maybe it will make small imperfections not seem so bad now if you think about it like this...;-)<br />
The Funeral<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Nw0s4C0g5SM" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
<u><b>WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST </b></u><br />
<br />
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. </div><div style="text-align: center;">And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Keep reading,,,,,,,,,,,,they get better!!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u> A WOMAN'S REVENGE </u></b><br />
<br />
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. <br />
<br />
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. </div><div style="text-align: center;">'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. <br />
<br />
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.' <br />
<br />
<br />
<u><b>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN </b></u><br />
<br />
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) </div><div style="text-align: center;">I know I'm not going to understand women. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, </div><div style="text-align: center;">pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>MARRIAGE SEMINAR </u></b><br />
<br />
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, </div><div style="text-align: center;">Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, <br />
<br />
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' <br />
<br />
He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?' </div><div style="text-align: center;">Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS </u></b><br />
<br />
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..</div><div style="text-align: center;"> The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. <br />
<br />
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, </div><div style="text-align: center;">he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. <br />
<br />
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? <br />
<br />
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store </div><div style="text-align: center;">to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco </div><div style="text-align: center;">and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. <br />
<br />
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. </div><div style="text-align: center;">(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) <br />
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<br />
<u><b>WIFE VS. HUSBAND </b></u><br />
<br />
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. </div><div style="text-align: center;">An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. <br />
<br />
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' <br />
<br />
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' <br />
<br />
<br />
TooooShayyyy<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>WORDS </u></b><br />
<br />
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... </div><div style="text-align: center;">30,000 to a man's 15,000. <br />
<br />
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.... </div><div style="text-align: center;">The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<u><b>CREATION </b></u><br />
<br />
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be </div><div style="text-align: center;">so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. <br />
<br />
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. </div><div style="text-align: center;">God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; </div><div style="text-align: center;">God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you ! <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>WHO DOES WHAT </u></b><br />
<br />
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. <br />
<br />
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to </div><div style="text-align: center;">wait as long to get our coffee. <br />
<br />
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' <br />
<br />
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' <br />
<br />
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me..' <br />
<br />
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS' <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>The Silent Treatment </u></b><br />
<br />
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him </div><div style="text-align: center;">at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. <br />
<br />
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, <br />
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. <br />
<br />
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, <br />
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. <br />
<br />
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' <br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cSlArizRI-E" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;">I sometimes think about some of the jobs I've had....</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've had some good ones and I've had some that really sucked,,,but I stuck with it and saw them through.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Nobody can say I ever gave up because the going got too rough.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">But I never had a job as tough as George,,,job well done Sir.... <a href="http://www.thesandgram.com/2009/07/28/burial-at-sea-by-ltcol-george-goodson-usmc-ret/">*Salute*</a><br />
<br />
<u><i><b>Have a great weekend !!!</b></i></u></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-27906433005239205912011-02-15T17:31:00.001-06:002011-02-15T17:59:28.364-06:00Start Looking !!<div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"> I want you to take a couple of minutes and read the following, then take a couple more minutes and I want you to think about the HUGE trade deficit that's going on with China and the other foreign countries.</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">Then take a couple minutes and think about your job and where you would be with out it. Think about your kids, your grandkids and their grandkids </span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">think about the neighbors, the towns, the counties the states.</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">Now then,,,,GIVE ME ONE REASON,,,you shouldn't buy,,,</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">"MADE IN THE U.S.A."</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">Now on with the story...........</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
</span></span></b></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;">A physics teacher in high school once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American.</span></span></b></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;"><br />
<br />
</span></span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;">Good idea .... one light bulb at a time ....</span></span></b></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowe's the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments. They were all made in</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">China</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">. The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">USA</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">. Start looking. (note here: earlier this week, RZ was in Lowes looking for a sprinkler head. Looked at RainBird and Looked at Orbits. RainBird is made inMexico</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">; Orbits in the</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">USA</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">. Orbits purchased!!)</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job . So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track. Let's get behind her!</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mexico</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> now. I do not buy it any more.</span></span></b></b></span></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;"><br />
<br />
<br />
</span></span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;">My favorite toothpaste, Colgate, is made in</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></b></span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;">Mexico</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></b></span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;">... now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything.</span></span></b></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;"><br />
<br />
</span></span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt;">This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled "Everyday Value. " I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the same except for the price. The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland, Ohio.</span></span></b></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here.</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets. Yep, you guessed it... Bounce cost more money and is made in</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Canada</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">. The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">USA</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">! </span></span></b></b></span></span></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price!</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span> <b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">USA</span></span></b></b><span class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxapple-converted-space"> </span><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">- the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time! Stop buying from overseas companies!</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">We should have awakened a decade ago.</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Let's get with the program. Help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U.S.A.</span></span></b></b><br />
<b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></b></b><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></span></b></b></span></span></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It's as simple as that.... "No Kidding"</span></span></b></b></span></span></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Well what are you setting there for ??</span></span></b></b></span></span></b></div><div class="ecxyiv923479334ecxyiv1234881627yiv728794576ecxMsoNormal" style="color: #eeeeee; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 20pt; font-weight: bold;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Get busy,,,tell your friends !!</span></span></b></b></span></span></b></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-84271276404820853372011-02-11T21:41:00.000-06:002011-02-11T21:41:19.608-06:00Hey it's Friday !!<div style="text-align: center;">Well I'm recovering from my slip and fall quite nicely.(feeling very lucky)<br />
A buddy did the samething and fractured the ball in his shoulder,,,six weeks off,,gotta take it easy. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Easier said than done.<br />
<br />
We got between 8 and 10" of snow.<br />
Okay, Let's call it 9". What do ya do with 9" of snow ? (Hope it melts real soon)<br />
Rake some of it out of the way,,but where to ? Somewhere else in the way ?<br />
<br />
Thankfully...Mother Nature blessed us with a nice warm day,,,it was 4 degrees this morning, but got up over 45 degrees this afternoon,,,and the sun shined brilliantly.<br />
<br />
The Princess and I raked some from behind the house,,,where the sun never shines (ha)<br />
from around the autos and off her car.Threw snowballs at one another<br />
Cleared from the porch, to the cars...and we was wore out. Thanks Mo =)<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I like Fred,,,and I never got to meet him.<br />
<a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/timesdispatch/obituary.aspx?n=frederic-arthur-clark-fred&pid=18382676">Rest in Peace Fred</a><br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Myspace done went and did it...</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I been looking for somebody to pick on and them bastards stepped up to the plate.<br />
<br />
I go there so often,,,3 or 4 times last year,,,honest injun !<br />
<br />
Here's a note just like the other 4 they sent me...about my videos.<br />
<br />
Audio or video content has been blocked from attempted upload or removed from your profile.<br />
Content may have been blocked/removed because the content was recognized by MySpace's Copyright Filter, because we received a notice of alleged infringement from the copyright owner, or because your use of the content otherwise violated MySpace's Terms and Conditions. As a result, your upload privileges have been suspended.Information about the blocked or removed content can be found on the Copyright Management Page. The Copyright Management Page has a link to the Copyright Education Program, which you must complete to reinstate your upload privileges. The Copyright Management Page also has a link to a form you can submit if you believe if the content was misidentified or was removed in error.MySpace terminates the accounts of repeat copyright infringers. Please be careful not to include content on your profile that you do not have permission to use so you can continue to be a part of the MySpace community.<br />
Thank you,<br />
MySpace.com.<br />
<br />
Of course,,I replied to them...My reply was short and sweet ....."thppppt"<br />
<br />
Maybe I'll go back in 6 months and see if they replied to my message.<br />
(And you wonder why your site is going down the crapper)<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
The TRUEST TRUE Definitions of tools....<br />
<br />
<br />
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.<br />
<br />
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the </div><div style="text-align: center;">workbench with the speed of light . </div><div style="text-align: center;">Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time</div><div style="text-align: center;"> it takes you to say, 'Oh shoot !'<br />
<br />
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.<br />
<br />
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.<br />
<br />
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs</div><div style="text-align: center;"> into major refinishing jobs.<br />
<br />
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... </div><div style="text-align: center;">It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt </div><div style="text-align: center;">to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.<br />
<br />
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. </div><div style="text-align: center;">If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.<br />
<br />
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various </div><div style="text-align: center;">flammable objects in your shop on fire.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.<br />
<br />
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to </div><div style="text-align: center;">launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.<br />
<br />
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.<br />
<br />
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.<br />
<br />
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of </div><div style="text-align: center;">everything you forgot to disconnect.<br />
<br />
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads..<br />
<br />
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.<br />
<br />
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you</div><div style="text-align: center;"> needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.<br />
<br />
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.<br />
<br />
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.<br />
<br />
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.<br />
<br />
SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.<br />
<br />
Hope you found this informative.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm not going political on you, I don't know if it's even a true story or who wrote it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">But somebody cared enough to put it in a email, so I'll share.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
SOMETHING WE ALL NEED TO KNOW<br />
<br />
We need to read this very carefully and think about what is being said here !!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
. . I remember asking dad about Castro when I was about 9 years old.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I asked , "Is Castro a good guy or bad?"</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Dad said he couldn't tell!! This was about 1955.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">We were living in Louisiana at the time. Dad was in the army there. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Cuba was fairly close and in the news a lot. The Cubans were asking the same question! <br />
<br />
Ike was president.<br />
<br />
This past July, we had the pleasure of sharing a summer barbecue with a refugee from Cuba . </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Our dinner conversation was starkly different than most.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> This refugee came to the United States as a young boy in the early 1960s. </div><div style="text-align: center;">His family was more fortunate than most as they were able<br />
to bring a suitcase and $100 when they fled Castro's newly formed revolutionary paradise.<br />
<br />
Our dinner consisted of all-American fare: hamburgers, potato salad, </div><div style="text-align: center;">watermelon and fresh ears of sweet corn. </div><div style="text-align: center;">This is a menu shared with family and friends nationwide, while celebrating the </div><div style="text-align: center;">birth of our beloved America on the Fourth of July.<br />
<br />
We began with a simple discussion about our country and the direction it has taken</div><div style="text-align: center;"> since Barack Obama came to power.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">We shared the usual complaints about the sour economy and liberal social engineering </div><div style="text-align: center;">emanating from the rulers in Washington .<br />
<br />
But then he said it. The sentence came naturally. I assume it was unplanned. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> But it carried the weight of a freight train. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">"You know when Castro took power, none of us knew he was a Communist."<br />
We sat stunned. He continued, <br />
<br />
"Yes, we all thought he was a patriot, a nationalist. Before the revolution he didn't sound like a radical."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
The comparison at this point was easy, and I interjected, "You mean just like Barack Obama?" </div><div style="text-align: center;">He responded, "Yes, just like Barack Obama."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
He continued, "We were all shocked as the government just continued to grab more power. First they said the revolution is over, so please turn in your guns. We all complied."<br />
<br />
"I remember my uncle saying after it started, 'Castro will only nationalize some of the big industries, he will never come and take our family hardware store.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">'But that is exactly what happened, </div><div style="text-align: center;">Castro started with the sugar mills and the large industries, </div><div style="text-align: center;">but they eventually came and knocked on the door of our family hardware store. <br />
My family had run this store for generations.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> They said we now own the hardware store, you work for us. </div><div style="text-align: center;">And that nice, large four-bedroom home you own, it is now our property also, and you can move yourself and five children into two rooms of the house because others are moving in with you."<br />
<br />
The lesson learned from this discussion is a lesson most Americans refuse to hear. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> Political leaders can lie about their agenda and once in office they can take totally unexpected turns.<br />
If you had asked us three years ago if we thought General Motors would be nationalized, </div><div style="text-align: center;">we would have never believed it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">We could never contemplate a country where the rule of law, the most fundamental building block of a justice society would be evaporating just like it did in Castro's Cuba in the early 1960s.<br />
<br />
But the news of injustice keeps increasing. Black Panthers are not<br />
charged with wrongdoing by the U.S. Department of Justice because their crimes are against whites. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The bondholders of GM are stripped of their assets without due process by the government. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Governmental leaders are bribed in full daylight only to have all </div><div style="text-align: center;">investigations of the crimes stifled by the Attorney General.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> The U.S. borders are overrun with crime and illegal activity and the leaders in D.C. act as if it is important to protect the lawbreakers while the innocent are killed and overrun.<br />
<br />
When local communities attempt to enforce the law,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> they are ridiculed and threatened as racists and bigots. </div><div style="text-align: center;">They are sued by the very administration entrusted with enforcing the law.<br />
Without the rule of law the U.S. Constitution is a sham.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">Without the rule of law our beloved America is swiftly becoming a country where<br />
only the well connected and politically powerful will be safe. </div><div style="text-align: center;"> As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Malkin">Michelle Malkin</a> has so eloquently explained in her recent book, </div><div style="text-align: center;">a culture of corruption has replaced honest government.<br />
The only way this problem will be fixed is by massive citizen action.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <br />
All honest citizens that want to be treated equally must come together and demand that the favoritism, the bribes, the uneven enforcement of law end now. And yes, it can happen here.<br />
And may God save the United States of America ! <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> IN GOD WE TRUST! <br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
Did you know a barnacle's penis is 30 times its body length ?? that's right 30 TIMES !!<br />
<br />
Relatively few barnacles reproduce sexually, but those that do have a hard time. After all, they can't move - so their penises, up to 30 times their body length, wave around in currents until encountering a female.<br />
"Just lettin it ALL hang out"<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-12409270">The surprises of animal sex.</a><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Something from the Queen,,,she's gearin up for that cave I'm going to live in when the fit hits the shan.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Be sure to click on <a href="http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm">similar buildings while you're there</a>.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
We all look forward to every brave man and woman on foreign soil returning home safely. Check out this beautiful compilation of surprised friends and family experiencing a homecoming they will never forget! Don’t forget to thank the next Veteran or Soldier you see and keep supporting our troops, until they all come home.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uSMlIM9zLio" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
<br />
And if you can't stand behind and support our troops,,,feel free to stand in front of them.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Be careful out there</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-71824203689661798812011-02-06T15:44:00.000-06:002011-02-06T15:44:24.964-06:00WHAM BAM THANK YA MAM.....<div style="text-align: center;">We got about 5" of new snow on top of that freezing rain we had a couple of days ago,,, </div><div style="text-align: center;">which had mostly melted,,,except for the shaded areas.<br />
I had to work and had already been out and started the Scion to let it warm up,, and swept it off.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Came back in the house, finished getting ready. </div><div style="text-align: center;">We had a list a while back,,,so I wouldn't forget something. takes alot of crap to be gone 12 hours.<br />
Phone,bluetooth.internet card,2 sets of keys,glasses,pocket knife,wallet,2 bandannas,smokes,lighters,<br />
loose change and the Queen keeps my backpack stocked with a bunch of goodies.<br />
<br />
I hugged the Queen and the Princess goodbye and got the usual,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">"you be careful out there,,it's slick,,,watch out for deer,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">watchout for all them other crazy people too....blah,blah,blah..<br />
and I headed out on my excursion.<br />
<br />
About 10 steps from the back door and POW !!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Some bastard just hit me in the face with a sno,,,,nope,,I'm horizontal. </div><div style="text-align: center;">WIPE OUT !!<br />
I hit the ground on my side before I realized I was falling.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Got up, looked around to see if anybody saw me and there</div><div style="text-align: center;">was 2 little snowbirds falling all over themselves laughing at me.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The Queen heard me go thud and come out to check on me.<br />
She got me a towel and gave me words of encouragement.</div><div style="text-align: center;">(Get out there and try again Big Boy)<br />
I can definately drive better on the snow and ice than I can walk.<br />
I waited till I got to work to do a total damage assessment.<br />
<br />
Dern good thing the ground was there to break my fall.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Plus the back pack kinda sorta took some of the blast.<br />
Popped a tab off of one of the zippers somehow,,,and blowed the top out of a</div><div style="text-align: center;"> bag of shoestring potato chips.(glad it wasn't the bottom)<br />
<br />
The later it got into the night,,the more I realized I had jarred myself pretty good.<br />
Probably tried to cram my shoulder in my ear.<br />
<br />
Decided to come home early since there wasn't much going on at work.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> Most of the hurt is gone today,,,but still tender.<br />
<br />
Pop's is right,,,us old farts don't bounce.<br />
So ya'll be careful out there,,,no matter how old ya are.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Gullible<br />
=========<br />
<br />
<br />
I didn't write this, although I wish I had.<br />
<br />
How many of the things below have you heard and believed?<br />
<br />
<br />
THE REAL STORY!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Big companies don't do business via chain letters.<br />
<br />
Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you<br />
a free vacation.<br />
<br />
There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks.<br />
<br />
Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and<br />
its logo is not satanic.<br />
<br />
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something<br />
to the most people.<br />
<br />
The Gap is not giving away free clothes. Nissan nor Honda is<br />
giving away a free car. You can relax; there is no need to pass<br />
it on "just in case it's true."<br />
<br />
There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking<br />
up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears<br />
it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing<br />
the kidney-theft ring stories, I quote: "The National Kidney<br />
Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of<br />
organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None<br />
have. That's "none" as in "zero", "zip" ~~ not even your<br />
friend's cousin. Not even if your uncle is a lawyer and says<br />
it's true.<br />
<br />
Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.<br />
<br />
If the latest NASA rocket disaster DID contain plutonium that<br />
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY<br />
think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain<br />
letter?<br />
<br />
There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who<br />
flashes headlights at another car driving at night without<br />
lights.<br />
<br />
Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc) in England is not<br />
dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like<br />
everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently<br />
is no longer a "little boy" either.<br />
<br />
The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine<br />
Work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot<br />
line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using<br />
their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the<br />
important work they do.<br />
<br />
If you are one of those who forwards anything that "promises"<br />
something bad will happen if you "don't," DON'T forward it, you<br />
will be fine.<br />
<br />
Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-<br />
mail won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help,<br />
contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch<br />
with Amnesty International or the Red Cross.<br />
<br />
As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean<br />
nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever<br />
the competition is complaining about.<br />
<br />
KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and<br />
feet. No, they really do. I read this in email.<br />
HA! So, why did they change their name?<br />
In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name?<br />
Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy. So with the<br />
help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's<br />
short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.<br />
<br />
Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four<br />
generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does<br />
not actually make it true.<br />
<br />
There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long<br />
distance companies to charge you for using the Internet.<br />
<br />
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net<br />
is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't<br />
automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's<br />
false, unless there is proof that it's true.<br />
<br />
<br />
Now tell everybody you know,, or else......<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 1500 pickup. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...<br />
<br />
The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger </div><div style="text-align: center;">seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The seats were of particular interest. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and </div><div style="text-align: center;">directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.<br />
<br />
Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.<br />
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.<br />
<br />
I had to walk back to the dealership... Damn guy had no sense of humor.<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Remember I love a woman in uniform,,,<br />
ohohohoh,,,these ladies can arrest me anytime,,,<a href="http://www.popcrunch.com/40-hot-women-in-uniform/">weapons of mass distraction</a><br />
Frisk me Baby,,,I may have something on me<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-41232861057340806072011-02-04T15:30:00.001-06:002011-02-04T15:31:33.057-06:00Gettin Old isn't for Sissy's<div style="text-align: center;">A few good Senior Moments<br />
<br />
Garage Door<br />
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.<br />
<br />
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'<br />
<br />
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'<br />
<br />
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
An elderly gentleman....<br />
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%<br />
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'<br />
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.<br />
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'<br />
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'<br />
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'<br />
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen..<br />
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'<br />
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'<br />
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?<br />
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'<br />
<br />
'Do you mean a rose?'<br />
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'<br />
<br />
<br />
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he d idn't need my help to leave the hospital.<br />
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.<br />
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.<br />
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..<br />
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.</div><div style="text-align: center;">'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.<br />
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'<br />
'Sure..'<br />
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.<br />
'No, I can remember it.'<br />
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so a s not to forget it?'<br />
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'<br />
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.<br />
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'<br />
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.<br />
'Where's my toast ?'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:<br />
'So I hear you're getting married?'<br />
'Yep!'<br />
'Do I know her?'<br />
'Nope!'<br />
'This woman, is she good looking?'<br />
'Not really.'<br />
'Is she a good cook?'<br />
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'<br />
'Does she have lots of money?'<br />
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'<br />
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'<br />
'I don't know.'<br />
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'<br />
'Because she can still drive!'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Three old guys are out walking.<br />
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'<br />
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'<br />
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'<br />
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'<br />
'Twelve thirty..'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.<br />
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.<br />
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'<br />
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''<br />
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
One more. . .........!<br />
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.<br />
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'<br />
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'</div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;">Diary of a Snow Shoveler</div><div style="text-align: center;">December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!<br />
<br />
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.<br />
<br />
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.<br />
<br />
December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.<br />
<br />
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.<br />
<br />
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.<br />
<br />
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.<br />
<br />
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of damn snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. God damm snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.<br />
<br />
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.<br />
<br />
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.<br />
<br />
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that goddamn snowplow.<br />
<br />
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.<br />
<br />
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.<br />
<br />
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.<br />
<br />
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!<br />
<br />
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?<br />
<br />
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.<br />
<br />
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.<br />
<br />
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?<br />
<br />
-Author Unknown </div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cuIJRsAuCHQ" title="YouTube video player" width="640"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;">Weee !! about 4" inches of the white powdery substance fell today,,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Spring will be here soon,,,Stay safe,,,stay warm</div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.candlepowerforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=277927&page=1"> Carbon Fiber Knife Making</a></div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.computerhope.com/shortcut/windows.htm">Hey Pops,,,let's expand our knowledge....</a></div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-48834970252272290352011-02-01T09:32:00.001-06:002011-02-01T09:36:18.996-06:00Yeah,,,Old Man Winter Strikes Again<div style="text-align: center;">Hey we survived another monday !!<br />
Mannn,,they're talking like it's going to get rough. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Blizzard warnings about a 100 miles away. 2-4" of ice and snow for us...</div><div style="text-align: center;">It was 70* just a couple days ago !!<br />
<br />
For some reason,,,it drives people nuts around here.</div><div style="text-align: center;">People start running to the stores and stocking up on supplies, </div><div style="text-align: center;">buying propane stoves and generators,,<br />
Closing schools and business'..total chaos.And that's mostly just the city folks.<br />
For me,,,,just another day of the week.<br />
I'm not going to get freaked out on a weather forecast.<br />
<br />
"If" it snows and ices,,,"If" the electric goes off,,I'll deal with it. But until then...thpppt.<br />
<br />
<br />
I been blog hoppin again,,,that's where I pick one of the links over there on the right and check it out,,,then click on one of their links to somebody else's world.<br />
<br />
You can learn a lot from other people,, like,,,Don't fart in your coveralls...<br />
There's no such thing as blinker fluid,,but there is such a thing as bulb grease.<br />
<br />
Found some good laughs here. I love a woman in uniform.<br />
<a href="http://mommafargo.blogspot.com/"><img alt="BWS tips button" height="125" src="http://boobiesbabiesandablog.webs.com/button.jpg" width="125" /></a><br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
After going and seeing Momma's Awards from<br />
the Queen and the Dutchess,,I wound up at..<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mamastillwearsgucci.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="One Crazy Brunette Chick" src="http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af60/grafixwife1/Gucci-GrabButton.png" /></a><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
I usually look for Blogs that make me smile,,,give me a chuckle. Not often, but every now and then,, I find someone I admire.(A lot !) And MaryJo is a fine example. I love the title...<br />
"Put On Your Big Girl Pants and Just Get On With It"and it's about....<br />
"One woman's journey through breast cancer and the side effects of chemotherapy". Alternative cancer therapies are also explored.<br />
I haven't got cancer (far as I know) but I enjoyed the read, and I think anybody going through chemo and such would enjoy MaryJo's info. <a href="http://putonyourbiggirlpants.blogspot.com/">Put On Your Big Girl Pants</a><br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
It's about time we visited Jodi again.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="youtube-player" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/iitK8pCJfnw" title="YouTube video player" type="text/html" width="480"></iframe><br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Welp...it's gettin ugly outside now,,,time to wrap this up and hit the sack. Hope you have a wonderful week and stay safe and warm,,,see ya next time.</div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-55502348441279304322011-01-28T20:47:00.001-06:002011-01-28T20:50:37.245-06:004 NIGHTS OFF !!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">What is a calorie?<br />
Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter. <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THEM!<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Working the System<br />
<br />
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"<br />
<br />
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"<br />
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.<br />
When the couple finished, the doctor said,<br />
<br />
"There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.<br />
<br />
This happened several weeks in a row.</div><div style="text-align: center;">The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.<br />
<br />
Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"<br />
<br />
"We're not trying to find out anything.<br />
<br />
She's married and we can't go to her house. <br />
<br />
I'm married and we can't go to my house.<br />
<br />
The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.<br />
<br />
We do it here for $50, .....and I get $43 back from Medicare."<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Cowboy rules for:<br />
Arizona, California,Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:<br />
<br />
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.'</div><div style="text-align: center;">I drive a pickup truck because I want to.</div><div style="text-align: center;">No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Drive it or get out of the way.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. </div><div style="text-align: center;">They smell like money to us. Get over it. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">6. Every person in the Wild West waves. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.<br />
<br />
<br />
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, </div><div style="text-align: center;">we WILL shoot it outta your hand. </div><div style="text-align: center;">You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.<br />
<br />
<br />
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? </div><div style="text-align: center;">It's available at the corner bait shop.<br />
<br />
<br />
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.<br />
<br />
<br />
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.<br />
<br />
<br />
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.<br />
<br />
<br />
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. </div><div style="text-align: center;">We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!<br />
<br />
<br />
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. <br />
<br />
You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and have long hair.(and a nice rack would be nice)<br />
<br />
<br />
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, </div><div style="text-align: center;">the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.<br />
<br />
<br />
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.<br />
<br />
<br />
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! </div><div style="text-align: center;">That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!<br />
<br />
<br />
And that's The Cowboy Rule Book says..</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Oh but wait !!! there is more.............<br />
The COWBOY Solution to save Gasoline.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we use.....<br />
<br />
<br />
The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!<br />
<br />
<br />
That would be 15 million less people using our gas.<br />
The price of gas would come down.....<br />
Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders....<br />
<br />
<br />
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo </div><div style="text-align: center;">and ship him to Afghanistan ....<br />
<br />
<br />
Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military....<br />
<br />
<br />
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it......<br />
<br />
<br />
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.....<br />
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident.....<br />
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. .<br />
<br />
<br />
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Problem solved.....<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
Ever wonder what two feet of snow looks like ?? Well here it is....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilf5sFeP2VRM3k9kB9_ftm_Zdm8pv30siXWPO2OmdJ6Zo1QbeoOod_lFe1pZTJhK0QeJ1dOeJDJmi9ThLIs6gE_oScUE49xk_QrZK9hIAE5F0SB1XVRixZQW0axoT3ajCNHxihjjPqDJko/s1600/twofeet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilf5sFeP2VRM3k9kB9_ftm_Zdm8pv30siXWPO2OmdJ6Zo1QbeoOod_lFe1pZTJhK0QeJ1dOeJDJmi9ThLIs6gE_oScUE49xk_QrZK9hIAE5F0SB1XVRixZQW0axoT3ajCNHxihjjPqDJko/s400/twofeet.jpg" width="326" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`<br />
Bedtime prayer for the ladies<br />
BEDTIME PRAYER<br />
<br />
Now I lay me down to sleep<br />
I pray for a man, who is not a creep.<br />
One who's handsome, smart, and strong<br />
And one who's willy is thick and long.<br />
<br />
One who thinks before he speaks<br />
When he promises to call, he won't wait for weeks.<br />
I pray that he is gainfully employed<br />
And when I spend his cash, he wont be annoyed.<br />
<br />
Pulls out my chair, and opens my door<br />
Massages my back, and begs to do more.<br />
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind<br />
Knows what to say when I ask "How big's my behind"?<br />
<br />
One who'll make love 'til my body's a twitchin',<br />
In the hall, the loo, the garden, and kitchen!<br />
I pray this man will love me 'till no end<br />
And never attempts to shag my best friend.<br />
<br />
And as I kneel and pray beside my bed<br />
I look at the Shit Head you sent me instead !!!<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
A beautiful young Jewish girl comes home and says,<br />
<br />
"Ma, I got married."<br />
<br />
Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."<br />
<br />
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."<br />
<br />
Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."<br />
<br />
She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your<br />
wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of<br />
luxury for the rest of your lives."<br />
<br />
Six months later, she walks in the beautiful new house she bought<br />
for her parents and says,<br />
"Ma, I love my Arab sheik, but my God, all he wants to do is boff<br />
me in my ass. Day and night, that's all he'll do is bang me in my<br />
ass. When I got married, my asshole was the size of a dime...now,<br />
it's the size of a silver dollar."<br />
<br />
Her mother says,<br />
<br />
"So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?"<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzYjQDeuVzN2BHvbGDfxoFfSjfg1UM5HKIYgiMjUGPo_CwLsROcBfvaH6vfZGI0W0COYqqbH8Vlj049Xo0iixuJuYPzKVjdp0d1SYrMfDSImyJv3eHwTNYpe6wKEVyguJGRNddqKVMi-71/s1600/whitelie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzYjQDeuVzN2BHvbGDfxoFfSjfg1UM5HKIYgiMjUGPo_CwLsROcBfvaH6vfZGI0W0COYqqbH8Vlj049Xo0iixuJuYPzKVjdp0d1SYrMfDSImyJv3eHwTNYpe6wKEVyguJGRNddqKVMi-71/s1600/whitelie.jpg" /></a></div> <br />
Have you ever told a white lie? </div><div style="text-align: center;">You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events:<br />
<br />
<br />
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies'<br />
Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets,</div><div style="text-align: center;">found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing,</div><div style="text-align: center;">and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.<br />
<br />
When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the </div><div style="text-align: center;">cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed,<br />
"Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in </div><div style="text-align: center;">at her new church, and in her new community of friends. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">So, being inventive, she looked around the house</div><div style="text-align: center;">for something to build up the center of The cake.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. </div><div style="text-align: center;">She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.<br />
Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. <br />
<br />
Amanda grabbed her cell phone & called her mom. <br />
<br />
Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know!<br />
What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! </div><div style="text-align: center;">All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people<br />
pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.<br />
<br />
The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snobwho more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa but having already RSVP'd , she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.<br />
<br />
<br />
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south and to </div><div style="text-align: center;">Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert! </div><div style="text-align: center;">Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before <br />
she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful cake!"<br />
<br />
<br />
Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the<br />
hostess (who was a prominent church member) say,<br />
<br />
"Thank you, I baked it myself.."<br />
<br />
Alice smiled and thought to herself, </div><div style="text-align: center;">"God is good. <br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Hey I'm off work,,Hey I got a 4 day weekend<br />
Hey it's going to be 67 degrees tomorrow !!<br />
Sounds like good weather to run around with the top down.<br />
Okay,,,I'm out of here,,,when you think<br />
you're having a bad day,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">Remember... "Armagedon"...Don't just read it,,,<a href="http://www.hark.com/clips/flzpkrzhyr-armagedon">play the sound clip.</a></div>Ozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16389208974814526712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6576826367998837280.post-73672039659478510942011-01-19T07:13:00.001-06:002011-01-19T07:17:10.425-06:00SHHHHH, Don't tell anybody,,,,,<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">(In a whisper) </div><div style="text-align: center;">I think I might actually get 3 nights off this week. Shhh !!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
This is a story of an aging couple <br />
Told by their son who was President of NBC NEWS.* <br />
<br />
This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large<br />
and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes...<br />
<br />
<br />
My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.<br />
<br />
He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6UMLMob-y6fJm3OHsy_8DvKV61JLIGlcEJv4UQPFEghs9DK7qyxrODSAtbLijU_oxDgO6Ec9wVoEWnlfvz6pW9QN-gSXo_MxpsqU0qNGDFCf4vH9RwhkB5tx8xKlBev0bqlFPe6nXk12v/s1600/1926whippet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6UMLMob-y6fJm3OHsy_8DvKV61JLIGlcEJv4UQPFEghs9DK7qyxrODSAtbLijU_oxDgO6Ec9wVoEWnlfvz6pW9QN-gSXo_MxpsqU0qNGDFCf4vH9RwhkB5tx8xKlBev0bqlFPe6nXk12v/s400/1926whippet.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."<br />
<br />
At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: she said. "He hit a horse."<br />
<br />
"Well," my father said, "there was that too."<br />
<br />
So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors<br />
all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.<br />
<br />
My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and </div><div style="text-align: center;">often as not, walk the 3 miles home. <br />
<br />
If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks</div><div style="text-align: center;">to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.<br />
<br />
My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, </div><div style="text-align: center;">we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. </div><div style="text-align: center;">"No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.<br />
<br />
But, sometimes, my father would say, </div><div style="text-align: center;">"But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." </div><div style="text-align: center;">It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 </div><div style="text-align: center;">Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and,</div><div style="text-align: center;">since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.<br />
<br />
Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. <br />
<br />
She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where,</div><div style="text-align: center;">a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?"</div><div style="text-align: center;">I remember him saying more than once.<br />
<br />
For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in<br />
the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an<br />
equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them</div><div style="text-align: center;">through their 75 years of marriage. </div><div style="text-align: center;">(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)<br />
<br />
He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so,</div><div style="text-align: center;"> he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.<br />
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back<br />
until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk,<br />
meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.<br />
<br />
If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."<br />
<br />
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, </div><div style="text-align: center;">even if he had no reason to go along. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. </div><div style="text-align: center;">In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. <br />
<br />
The millionaire on second base<br />
made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."<br />
<br />
If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- </div><div style="text-align: center;">and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he<br />
was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, </div><div style="text-align: center;">"Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"<br />
<br />
"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre. <br />
"No left turns," he said.<br />
"What?" I asked. "No left turns," he repeated.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. </div><div style="text-align: center;">So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."<br />
<br />
"What?" I said again.<br />
<br />
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a<br />
left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."<br />
<br />
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support. "No," she said, "your father is right. <br />
<br />
We make three rights. It works."<br />
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."<br />
<br />
I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.<br />
"Loses count?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a<br />
problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."<br />
<br />
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week." </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">My mother was never in an accident, but one<br />
evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. </div><div style="text-align: center;">That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. </div><div style="text-align: center;">My father died the next year, at 102.<br />
<br />
They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a<br />
few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid<br />
$8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. </div><div style="text-align: center;">My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times</div><div style="text-align: center;">what he paid for the house.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.<br />
<br />
One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, </div><div style="text-align: center;">though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.<br />
<br />
A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, </div><div style="text-align: center;">"You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." </div><div style="text-align: center;">At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."<br />
<br />
"You're probably right," I said.<br />
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.<br />
"Because you're 102 years old," I said...</div><div style="text-align: center;"> "Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.<br />
That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.<br />
<br />
He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:<br />
"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"<br />
<br />
An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:<br />
"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain.<br />
I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."<br />
<br />
A short time later, he died. I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then<br />
how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.<br />
<br />
I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, Or because he quit taking left turns. "<br />
<br />
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. <br />
Believe everything happens for a reason. <br />
If you get a chance, take it and if it changes your life, let it.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE"</div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
A newspaper interview with an astronomer has rocked the astrological world, leading some believers to worry that they've been referring to themselves as the "wrong" sign for all these years, and that instead of being, say, sensitive, dependable, and stubborn, they are now emotional, reliable, and obdurate. <a href="http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2011/0114/New-zodiac-signs-2011-Can-one-guy-just-change-the-zodiac-like-that">(Read more)</a><br />
<br />
And if you read that and are back now,,,,<br />
Yep,,,that's what I'm thinking too.<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Okay,,a "Not kidding Link".. I hope you never need their help... But...<br />
Cleaning for a Reason<br />
If you know any woman currently undergoing chemotherapy, please pass the word to her that there is a cleaning service that provides free housecleaning - once per month for 4 months while she is in treatment.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
All she has to do is sign up and have her doctor fax a note confirming the treatment. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Cleaning for a Reason will have a participating maid service in her zip code area arrange for the service.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">This organization serves the entire USA and currently has 547 partners to help these women.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
It's our job to pass the word and let them know that there are people out there that care. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Be a blessing to someone and pass this information along.<br />
You may not know someone going through chemo, but someone on your e-mail list might,</div><div style="text-align: center;">so please forward this information.<br />
Related site: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.cleaningforareason.org/">http://www.cleaningforareason.org/</a> .<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
And one more "Not Kidding Story",,,,sit up,<br />
pay attention,,the scammers are getting smarter.<br />
Subject: Citizens Alert - New Visa. Master Charge Fraud 1/10/11<br />
<br />
<br />
Date: Tuesday, January 11, 2011, 2:08 AM Visa / MasterCard FRAUD.<br />
<br />
<br />
Just a heads up for everyone regarding the latest in Visa fraud. Royal Bank received this communication about the newest scam. This is happening in southern Alberta right now and moving.<br />
<br />
This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want..<br />
<br />
Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it.<br />
<br />
This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'MasterCard'.<br />
<br />
The scam works like this:<br />
<br />
Person calling says - 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460, Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify.<br />
This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a marketing company based in Arizona ?' When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?' You say 'yes'.<br />
<br />
The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud Investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'<br />
<br />
Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works - The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the last 3 are the Security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the last 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, 'That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?'<br />
<br />
After you say no, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do', and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back. Within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we were glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. We made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master Card directly for verification of their conversation..<br />
<br />
The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit; however, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.<br />
<br />
What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of MasterCard' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA Scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. I dealt with a similar situation this morning, with the caller telling me that $3,097 had been charged to my account for plane tickets to Spain , and so on through the above routine.<br />
<br />
It appears that this Is a very active scam, and evidently quite successful.<br />
=<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp">http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/creditcard.asp</a><br />
<br />
This was sent to me by Larry Lynch a Block Captain in the Halifax Plantation Crime Watch program. I have checked it in Snopes and it is true. It is a very cleaver way to scam and steal from you. Thanks to Larry for helping to keep all of us safe from fraudulent practices like this. .<br />
<br />
Nick Riggio- Glinmore HOA Crime Watch<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Romance Novel 2011<br />
<br />
He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. </div><div style="text-align: center;">He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.</div><div style="text-align: center;">"Just relax." <br />
<br />
<br />
Without warning he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start <br />
at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care.</div><div style="text-align: center;">His touch was so experienced, so sure. <br />
<br />
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. </div><div style="text-align: center;">My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties. <br />
<br />
<br />
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Okay, ma'am," said a voice. "All done" <br />
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. <br />
<br />
"You can board your flight now." <br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
Remember,,,,I don't write em,,I just share em....</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
Woman Bashing<br />
<br />
Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?<br />
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.<br />
<br />
Behind every great man is a woman telling him he's ignoring her<br />
<br />
How many men does it take to open a beer?<br />
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.<br />
<br />
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?<br />
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.<br />
<br />
Why do women have smaller feet than men?<br />
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.<br />
<br />
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?<br />
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."<br />
<br />
How do you fix a woman's watch?<br />
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.<br />
<br />
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?<br />
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.<br />
<br />
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?<br />
A woman that won't do what she's told.<br />
<br />
I married Miss Right.<br />
I just didn't know her first name was Always.<br />
<br />
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:<br />
I don't like to interrupt her.<br />
<br />
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?<br />
Divorced.<br />
<br />
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.<br />
It's called Wedding Cake.<br />
<br />
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted.<br />
The next day he received a hundred letters. </div><div style="text-align: center;">They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."<br />
<br />
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?<br />
Forget it once.<br />
<br />
Women will never be equal to men until: They can walk down the<br />
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.<br />
<br />
Why do they call it PMS?<br />
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.<br />
<br />
Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?<br />
The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs or your meat but you just can't beat a blowjob.<br />
<br />
Did you hear about the new shoe Nike is making for lesbians?<br />
The tongue is twice as long and it will only need one finger to get it off.<br />
<br />
How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?<br />
Your date has to chew before she swallows.<br />
<br />
How can you tell when a woman is having an orgasm?<br />
Who cares ?<br />
<br />
The fastest way to discover all your bad habits is to get married<br />
<br />
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was nearly impossible.<br />
<br />
Why does the bride always wear white?<br />
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.<br />
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I know, I know, I KNOW !!! Okay,Okay !!<br />
Men Bashing:<br />
<br />
What's the difference between government bonds and men?<br />
Bonds Mature.<br />
<br />
Husband: Want a quickie?<br />
Wife: As opposed to what?<br />
<br />
How is a man like a snowstorm?<br />
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.<br />
<br />
Why are men like laxatives?<br />
They irritate the shit out of you.<br />
<br />
How can you tell when a man is dead?<br />
He stays stiff for more than two minutes.<br />
<br />
How is a man like a microwave oven?<br />
They both heat up instantly and go off in twenty seconds.<br />
<br />
How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?<br />
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway.<br />
<br />
What do you call an intelligent man in America?<br />
A tourist.<br />
<br />
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. </div><div style="text-align: center;">What do men dream of?<br />
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.<br />
<br />
Why do men name their penises?<br />
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.<br />
<br />
What is a man's view of safe sex?<br />
A padded headboard.<br />
<br />
How do men sort their laundry?<br />
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".<br />
<br />
Why did God create man?<br />
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.<br />
<br />
Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men?<br />
They discovered they were throwing away the smartest part.<br />
<br />
What's the difference between hard and dark?<br />
It stays dark all night.<br />
<br />
A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. </div><div style="text-align: center;">She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."<br />
<br />
Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love,</div><div style="text-align: center;">a little affection, a little tenderness?<br />
It means you're in the wrong house.<br />
<br />
What do men consider housecleaning?<br />
Lifting their feet so you can vacuum under them<br />
<br />
How does a man change a roll of toilet paper?<br />
No one knows - we've never seen it done!<br />
<br />
How can you tell if a man is thinking about sex?<br />
He's breathing<br />
<br />
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?<br />
Shoot him again.<br />
<br />
How can you tell when a man is well-hung?<br />
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.<br />
<br />
What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?<br />
His body.<br />
<br />
Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?<br />
Because not one will stop and ask directions.<br />
<br />
What is the difference between men and women...<br />
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. </div><div style="text-align: center;">A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.<br />
<br />
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?<br />
Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"<br />
<br />
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?<br />
A rumor.<br />
<br />
A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"<br />
The woman says: "I'll really miss you"<br />
<br />
How can a woman tell if she is having a super orgasm?<br />
The noise wakes up her husband<br />
<br />
Why are married women heavier than single women?<br />
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.<br />
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.<br />
<br />
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?<br />
A widow.<br />
<br />
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?<br />
Men always miss them.<br />
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Did you gain some weight during the holidays ?? Yeah me too,,, I'm not into<br />
Richard Simmons,,,But it's the only place I could find this song,,,at the moment.<br />
<br />
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